WhoTom

When I was a boy, I had the mind of a boy, But now I'm a man, ain't got no mind at all. When I was in my teens, I had my share of dreams, But now I'm a man, ain't got no dreams at all.

One of my favorite Jerry quotes: "I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

I ate them with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Thanks to your tip, I've been listening to this while working today: https://archive.org/details/gd72-05-03.sbd.samaritano.21923.sbeok.shnf/gd1972-05-03d3t02.shn Outstanding show!

I've looked under chairs I've looked under tables I try to find the key To fifty million fables They call me the Seeker I've been searching low and high I won't get to get what I'm after 'Til the day I die

I went to junior high with a guy named Tim Byrne. Nobody ever said his name plainly, it was always "Timmmm Byyyyyrrrrrnnnn!"

Everyday baby, when the sun go down I get with my friends, an' I begin to clown I don't care, what the people are thinkin' I ain't drunk, I'm just drinkin' (But you're so high) I just take a little bit, now an' then (But you're so high) Now you oughta be 'shamed of yourself (But you're so high Stay drunk all the time)

They are indeed, and, just like the other things, they're not natural.

The SEC might be saying that now, knowing they can change their minds once they see how the NFL season works out for the first few weeks, assuming it starts on time.

Well bless my soul What's wrong with me? I'm itching like a man on a fuzzy tree My friends say I'm actin' wild as a bug I'm in love (Huh!) I'm all shook up

I prefer flossing with short curly hairs.

His first job was my first job, too! My friend Joe and I went door-to-door offering shoveling services. We only ended up with one client - an elderly lady who called us at 5AM when she wanted her driveway shoveled. (We didn't just wait for snow days - we'd go over before school if necessary.) If it wasn't a school day, she'd invite us in for hot chocolate after we finished. I think we got $15 each time, but that was in 1978.

I have a holograph machine that projects my image in front of the camera while I go do other things.

That's either a doctored video or the biggest cameltoe ever.

Yes! Crispy is more important than which section of the wing it is. I prefer drums, but I'll take a crispy flat over a soggy drum any day.

No, but it is a satirical site. It's getting hard to tell the difference these days.

I eat both, but I prefer the drums. My wife might eat one or two pieces, but not enough to split an order.

Rocky Raccoon checked into his room Only to find Gideon's Bible Rocky had come, equipped with a gun To shoot off the legs of his rival

Air conditioners don't eliminate heat, they simply move it from one place to another. So assuming this gadget really is an air conditioner, and you wear it around your neck, where is the heat going? You're right - it's just a personal fan. I think one of those baseball caps with a fan in the brim would be equally effective, more comfortable, and would probably run off of a small solar cell mounted on top of the brim.

In keeping with the show's format, Who is Alex Trebek?

On an airplane, that's like a bag of peanuts and a beer, right?

From the Q&A section of a product review:

Billion, not million.