I had another forward thinking idea, but if the mods think this deserves its own thread they can move it. Since father time won't kill the Patriots* we need to look at other options.
Step one: Get Terry Pegs on the competition committee
Step two: Terry Pegs uses his position to change the rules so microphones in helmets/hand signals from the sidelines become illegal
We already have a young coach who could then be signed as the "quarterback" of the defense. Player/coach Sean would also be invaluable as an on field motivator (see: clapping).
Patriots* would then be forced to sign Hoodie as the quarterback of their defense, but he is so old and slow. Also not a good motivator. He might be able to call good plays but it would be like the Patriots* defense is playing a man down every play.
That solves the defense.
Not sure on offense what to do yet. Maybe change the rules so only first round picks can play QB? (Brady totally has to retire or change positions) The braintrust can come up with something better. But the beauty is that we've already got Terry Pegs on the competition committee to make it happen.