Well, my mom passed away when I was young, so I do not have many memories of her.
However, I would be very honored if Beerball would let me call him "a mother".
http://www.timesunion.com/default/article/Cops-Sno-Cone-Joe-stalked-Mr-Ding-A-Ling-4479911.php
"Malatino has had other, non-ice-cream-related contact with police, Sira said."