Looking at the photos, your sausage looks soft, and there are a lot of spots on it, and it appears to just be sitting there doing nothing.
And when I've talked to your ex-girlfriends, they have described your sausage in exactly the same way.
So naturally, the response by the Board of Elections is that the investigators themselves should be arrested for finding the voter fraud:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/board-elections-slams-investigators-posed-dead-people-article-1.1569328
http://www.kcrg.com/news/local/Police-Say-Iowa-City-Mans-Blood-Alcohol-Content-Too-High-To-Register-238586931.html
"He then reportedly blew into an alcohol testing device — which gave a reading of .467 (nearly six times the state's legal limit) before flashing up with an error message on the screen."
http://www.latimes.com/obituaries/la-me-phil-everly-20140104,0,2345470.story
Every 1960's duo and group - without exception - wanted that Everly harmony sound.
http://news.yahoo.com/upstate-ny-struggles-more-leave-move-084237601.html
'In recent years, Florida has been the No. 1 destination for people aged 45 and up leaving upstate New York. The top destination for people aged 20 to 44 is New York City and the surrounding downstate region, according to researchers at Cornell who looked at census data from 2006 through 2010.'
http://www.buffalone...-today-20140102
In my day, I walked 8 miles to school, each way, uphill, in howling blizzards blah blah blah...
(disintegrates into old-guy talk)