\GoBillsInDallas/

http://www.greenwichtime.com/news/article/Metro-North-reporting-delays-6430854.php

http://ktla.com/2015/08/05/shirtless-man-claims-to-be-tarzan-tries-swinging-into-monkey-exhibit-at-o-c-zoo-was-likely-under-influence-of-meth-police/

You can already do that at any Wal-Mart.

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/butt-brazil-2015-gallery-1.2299452

http://www.buffalonews.com/gusto/music/stones-stagehands-have-paychecks-bounce-getting-paid-could-take-time-union-leader-says-20150804

You still would.

http://www.wdrb.com/story/29650818/hillview-man-arrested-for-shooting-down-drone-cites-right-to-privacy

Charlotte McKinney is very happy for you:

Pounding the nanny: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/ben-affleck-alleged-fling-love-report-article-1.2309059

http://fox2now.com/2015/07/28/warren-county-man-kills-a-nearly-15-foot-python-in-his-yard/

http://news.yahoo.com/buffalo-snow-pile-refuses-melt-eight-months-snowstorm-162509142--abc-news-topstories.html

Don't let Whitey cover news events, either: http://www.cleveland.com/naymik/index.ssf/2015/07/police_and_movement_for_black.html

What a nice family: http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2015/07/manziel-family-behind-bars-again.html/

Decisions, decisions: http://www.dallasnews.com/news/metro/20150728-mayor-doesnt-like-it-but-porn-convention-is-coming-to-dallas-convention-center.ece

http://lasvegassun.com/news/2015/jul/28/female-inmate-21-escapes-work-crew-eastern-valley/

http://www.buffalonews.com/sports/bob-kauffman-braves-first-star-player-dies-at-age-69-20150728 http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/news/2015/jul/28/kauffman-remembered-for-8216larger-than-life8217/ http://www.wagesfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Robert-Bob-Kauffman/

Is she hot?

Guy goes to concert at the Tralf and gets plastered Guy then 'rides the banister' on the staircase numerous times at the Tralf Tralf puts sticky tape on the banister to prevent people from 'riding the banister' Guy falls off railing and dies Family sues Tralf, saying the Tralf should not have put sticky tape on the banister, saying that he would have been able to slide freely if there was no sticky tape http://www.buffalonews.com/city-region/university-at-buffalo/ub-medical-resident-dies-in-accident-at-the-tralf-20140603 http://www.courthousenews.com/2015/07/21/concert-hall-blamed-in-banister-riding-death.htm

http://www.idahostatesman.com/2015/07/23/3907831_bicyclist-reports-burning-tp-sparked.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/cuomo-executive-power-run-government-article-1.2301086

Or, they could have used this thing called the "world wide web" and looked up "family-friendly restaurants" prior to heading out for breakfast: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g40827-zfp5-Portland_Maine.html