Illegals over the age of 18 with no criminal record, other than illegal immigration, are given the option to enlist in the Armed Service of their choice. An honorable discharge after two full terms of enlistment grants citizenship
Illegals who decline the above or have a criminal record are deported to their country of origin on their first offense
If apprehended in the United States illegally a second time they are shipped to Afghanistan
Those resourceful enough to find their way from Afghanistan back to the United States, upon a third offense will be subject to a Hunger Games style competition in which the winner is granted citizenship and an autographed photo with Trump