Howard

Mr mead My mom always made me a cream pie on my birthday. Sometimes when the hot water heater acts up the water comes out kind of tannish beige, so yes, I've had golden showers before.

You still bring my dog into this fight? He is a member of my family and when you make fun of my dog you are making fun of me and my wife. I wish someone would teach you a lesson about service and loyalty. For 60 plusyears I dedicated my life to bringing your Sears jammies and your TeenBeat magazines. I had to step over your hula hoops and broken down lemonade stands. I even drank that ****ty iced tea you were selling and it tasted like the water left over in your mom's laundry tub. Over and over again I served you and your hipster buddies and what do I get on Christmas? A !@#$ing fruit cake. I've had enough of you. BLOCKED. I'm serious. BLOCKED BLOCKED Dagger smiley BLOCKED

Mr Joe I don't have credit cards. I use my checkbook for most everything so I can give you my routing number and account. I do need to reconcile this weekend though so make sure you give me the slips so I can keep it current.

JR We never had a swimming pool. In my 80 plus years if we wanted to cool off we would all go to Cazenovia creek and wade through the rapids. Of course sometimes we'd have to avoid little floating objects in the water but I hear that has cleaned up now. I do like running through the sprinkler now and then. Shirl usually puts the sprinkler on the front lawn at around 6pm so after dinner is a good time for me to go outside and walk through a few times to cool off. Mr BuffaloJoe Typical young punk putting metal needles in your face, arms, lips and pecker. Not sure what the attraction is but if you enjoy having someone stick something inside you I suggest you spend a Saturday night with Mr. Cleats.. He's a hippie pinko that likes being probed. I'm having a great morning so far. My grits turned out perfect and I have a new bag of weed and feed for the front lawn. Looking forward to touching up the paint on my lawn jockey today and Shirl is getting out the bird bath and big blue globe for the front yard. Have a great day everyone.

i've had about enough of you. I invited to over for a cold Schlitz and you didn't show. Shirl made deviled eggs and party piizzas (hate those damn thing) and all you do now is criticize my service to this country. And now threats of harm against me, my wife and my dog?? You are a real product of the 60's I bet. Long haired hippie rebel pinko punk. I have to get a malox. Don't go hiding somewhere.

Joe. Have you tried Fabian or Franky Valley? They are up and comers. Also listen to some Chet Atkins or Lawrence Welch. Women love it.

Cleats. You have a good way of explaining things sometimes for a younger punk.

Mead. Is an escort an old car? What do you hear about Buick Skyhawks? Do they have enough room in the back seat for Howard ? He's 130 pounds.

Probably some FedEx or UPS punk throwing his deliveries out the window. The world is goin to hell I tell ya'!! H

Beerball. I don't think thats funny. Shirl used to think you were nice but now she sees my point. You young fellas dont show respect to servicemen like I used to. I know you didnt pick up our film because the stub says it won't be ready at CVS until Saturday. Mead. No, my Desoto is long gone. We looked at a new type of car. We're trading the Oldsmobile Delta 88 for some new fangled vehicle called a Ford Escort.

Mr Ball No, I drove an actual mail truck during my stint as a bulk mail transport technician from 1954-1963. and I didn't need a sword to do my work like Cletus.

Buffalo joe - Here's a story for you. I used to sort mail on the Delaware Ave office for the service. I shared a slot post with Betty Grimes. She was a real looker. One day I put a coupon book into her slot and she yelled at me. Our hands touched, she started to blush, and she slapped my hand away from her mail slot. We came very close to hugging but then she walked away and asked to be reassigned to the downtown station. I was crushed. I see her now and then and we chat a little but Shirley is usually with me so it is somewhat uncomfortable. The main reason I tell you this, as I would tell my own son Roger, is that no matter how bad you want to slide a coupon book into another person's slot, there is a better slot right around the corner and you won't get your hand slapped. Hope this helps. H

This Cletus is a menace. When I drove truck I would always give candy to the kids.

I already invited you. Shirley bought a new six pack so we are all set for you.

Buffalo Joe. I can see your message. It isn't private until you include the words "ONLY FOR BEERBALL, ALL OTHERS DO NOT READ". I learned this the hard way last time I sent a message to the mobilizers.

BPA I don't use Schtick I use English leather

I was checking my email this morning. There was a message from Kpatel at globallotterycom that said I was one of five people in the unites states that qualifies for the grand prize. I called his number but a woman named Sujee answered and she asked if she could have Kpatel call me back. I gave her my phone number and mother's maiden name as confirmation. When Kpaddle calls me back I may have good news for Shirley. Hope you all are having a good day like me. smiley face Howard

did I win yet? I've won a few things in my days. A year subscription to Diesel Engines Monthly and a sketch pad with charcoal pencils at the Five Holy Helpers carnival but this contest looks fun.

Delivering mail is a funny job huh? Is that what it is? A joke? So when I deliver your disneyworld tickets, your weekly coupon books and your WomensDay magazines you think I'm just something to be overlooked. For 60+ years I was an important part of our economy. I was a gear in the most important machine in our nation The us postal service is more than a department. Its a family of dedicated members who are now delivering junk mail every day. And you know who invented junk mail? Young punks. So look in the mirror and figure it out. The next time youre browsing through your Better Homes and Gardens deciding where to plant your gardenias, think of who brought it to you and thank a member like me. H

Mr Ball. If Cletus getting a bloody lip or a bop on the nose is hurtful to him I apologize. I know the younger generation is fragile. I'm sorry i offended him. Shirley has a hair appointment today and then we are going to look at a new car so I'll be in and out. H

I like it when the announcer says "gentlemen, start your motors". Been watching races for years and that always gets me going.

sometimes I see rainbows. Other times I don't.

I'll give you marbles.

When the sun shines my eyes hurt.

I like licorice