buckeyemike

E.T. The Extra Testicle. Mike

I sat in the Dawg Pound at the Browns-Patriots playoff game at Cleveland Stadium in the 1994 post-season. A few rows in front of me were three guys in their forties sharing a joint. I've never partaken of the chronic, and hadn't smelled pot since high school, but I knew exactly what it was. All it meant to me is that the concession stands would make some more money off those guys. BTW, I'm in the process of reading a book about our government's drug policy called "Smoke and Mirrors" by Dan Baum. It's really an indictment of how our nation has treated drug abusers and how the policy is all out of whack. To me, it's served one purpose: to scare the hell out of decent people into re-electing these bozo politicians who promise to "do something" about drugs. P.J. O'Rourke once gave several phrases (e.g. "Drugs are ruining are neighborhoods and affecting our children"). He said simply substitute the words "Drugs are" with "(African-Americans) are" and thus, you have our nation's drug policy. Mike

Should I ask for the Season 1 DVD for Christmas? The LOTR DVDs have run their course, so I gotta find a replacement. Mike

This may be controversial here, but for me, it's "Beetlejuice". I had such high hopes for that film, because of Michael Keaton, but I thought it was just a big, unorganized mess. I guess the film's not supposed to make any sense, because it sure as heck didn't. Mike

Peter comes into the garage, says "Hi Stewie", looks down at where Homer's fallen, and says "Who the hell is that?" Priceless. My favorite Simpsons episodes: Brush With Greatness -- the second season episode where Marge paints a portrait of Mr. Burns naked. Greatest closing line in history: Mr. Burns says to Marge: "Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia." Marge turns to Homer and says, "I thought I did." Colonel Homer -- where Homer is tempted to leave Marge for the country singer he's managing, Lurleen Lumpkin. The Monorail Episode -- we all know that one. It's interesting that I've seen "Homer vs. New York" on TV after 9/11. That episode did prominently feature the World Trade Center. Mike

Oh, man...the scene with her and Neve Campbell being, ahem, "encouraged" by Matt Dillon. Bizarre movie, though. Mike

I've liked her looks for years, but Jennifer Aniston has always reminded me of the girl who could be a real (rhymes with "witch") when things don't go her way. Same with Debra Messing, who is on a show I never watch. Someone like Catherine Zeta-Jones, on the other hand, makes my heart go pitter-patter. And that Welsh accent too. Whoa. Mike

Just heard on the radio...the cheerleaders involved have been dismissed from the team. So we won't see them cheering anymore...unless Howard Stern hires them. Mike

The Cleveland Browns of 1999 were playing in an antiseptic new stadium, complete with PSL's and club seats out the wazoo. They stuck all the true fans who couldn't afford the higher prices in the nether regions of the upper deck or out in the Dawg Pound, where Big Dawg started another career as a TV star/media whore. The NFL, I found, is all about the Benjamins. I think the Bills are now making tons of money...the team is marketed well, and that's a big reason why I think they stay right where they are. PSL's are on the way out (the Raiders are getting rid of them entirely) and I think that the big corporate money for the NFL may be starting to wane. I honestly don't believe they do as well in San Antonio, L.A. or anywhere else, because a) they won't sell out as often as at the Ralph, and b) the team makes money. Boatloads of money. Right there in Western New York. Mike

Dork. Mike

Good analogy, CTM...I didn't know there were so many people on this board who liked "Tremors". And I haven't seen any of the sequels either...I think they went up to "Tremors 4". No, thank you. I will stick with the original. Mike

In retrospect, you are correct. Mike White, the mayor of Cleveland at the time, never believed Modell would up and leave like he did. But, he's just as much to blame IMO as Modell. But White played it perfectly, blaming Modell for the whole thing and not waiting his turn for a new or refurbished stadium. He was the one who influenced the media backlash...Modell couldn't, because he was in Baltimore and not coming back. Lerner I really don't blame, because I think HE had ulterior motives...Lerner knew he would be the front-runner for ownership of a new Browns team...and that's exactly what happened. I think that Al Lerner tried to buy the Browns from Modell, was refused, and basically nudged Modell out the door to have the rabid Cleveland market all to himself, complete with a new stadium. Either way, Cleveland got their team back (bad as it may be), a new stadium, and Modell gone. Randy Lerner will own a Lombardi Trophy eventually -- it may take 5 or 10 years, but I believe it will happen. Mike

Exactly. Or in the CFL, hopefully with Maurice "My buddy LeBron got his, so where's mine?" Clarett. Mike

True. It's just cheesy. But it's not even good cheese (i.e., Baywatch) at that. Mike P.S. By the way, imdb.com states that Category 7 was filmed in Winnipeg...thus, the ballpark was Canwest Global Park, home of the Winnipeg Goldeyes of the Northern League.

Ouch. Let's give JP at least the rest of the season first (if he plays). Mike

Gee, I guess some of those stories aren't fake after all. Mike

I tried to access your link and could not...must be all the web traffic from the millions who watched "Category 7" tonight. What's next..."Category 8: Attack of the Retatta"? Mike

The Main Reason Why I'm Here Today. Unlike many in Cleveland, and you've heard me say it, I've long since forgiven Art Modell for moving the team. He's in poor health, and may not be long for this world. However, I've tried to get back into the Browns, and it is simply not the same. So, three years ago, I declared my allegiance for the Buffalo Bills (whom I have followed from afar since the late 70's) and began posting on this site. Was it a dark day? Sure. But the most important thing I realized is that the sun rose on November 7, 1995. Life went on. It got better for me personally and professionally. Football is football. It's nice to have, and you get caught up in the emotion and sense of "team", but it is not necessary to survive. Today, I am proud to say that I am a Buffalo Bills fan and a member of this community. GO BILLS! CRUSH THE CHIEFS!! Mike

Ugh. Only the ending is watchable. For me, it would be "Tremors". I rented it with a bunch of friends 15 years ago, after a wedding. It may well be the best "creature feature" ever made. The acting is well done, especially Michael Gross and Reba McEntyre as the husband/wife gun nuts. I realized that Reba could more than hold her own in a movie. The giant tunneling worms are original as far as monsters go. The whole movie is effective and even believable in a certain way. Very well done. Mike

Horrid acting and even worse editing. Gina Gershon as the FEMA Head? There's a really bad casting couch joke in here somewhere... Anyway, it is supposed to take place days after the "Category 6" storm hit Chicago. Randy Quaid somehow survived the tornado that picked up his truck, grew an unruly blond mane, and is back out on the road with Shannen Doherty. I used to really like Shannen Doherty before I found out what a psycho she is. The storm makes its way to Buffalo, where many are apparently killed and a TV evangelist played by Mr. Barbara Streisand gets electrocuted while doing a sound check at what is supposed to be Dunn Tire Park (but isn't...all the seats are green and the park looks brand new). Now, if the storm would head to Bristol and wipe out the Sunday Night Football crew, plus Stuart Scott, we might have something. Alas, it's heading to New York City. Maybe somehow The Great Bruschi (We're not worthy!) can stop the storm. The destruction footage looks good at times, and worse than most PS2 video games at others. The subplots are lame (including the unscrupulous TV evangelists...that's just insulting) and I actually heard the term "friends-with-benefits" earlier. That's a phrase that should never be heard in any disaster movie. Ultimately, the cause will be ((SPOILER ALERT)) GLOBAL WARMING!! TA-DA!! Sorry guys, but "The Day After Tomorrow" did it a year and a half ago...and that movie wasn't very good either, I might add. Fortunately, the second part won't be broadcast until next Sunday. But, this whole thing is just a mess. Mike

Because that's not what the NFL is out to do. Let's play devil's advocate and say the NFL wanted to move the Bills to Los Angeles. There's no suitable long-term stadium situation. The people of LA would rather go surfing or watch the Trojans or Bruins than the NFL. The Raiders couldn't sell out at the Coliseum, and the Rams couldn't draw flies before it was all over in Anaheim. That market lost two teams to smaller markets IN THE SAME YEAR. We tend to forget that little tidbit. In Buffalo, the Bills have failed to sell out once since the beginning of the 2003 season. That's a minimum of 71,000 for 19 of the last 20 home games. The Bills held the league's all-time single season attendance record for years, until the Redskins broke it recently. The Buffalo market includes Rochester, Syracuse and (don't forget) southern Ontario...the ONLY NFL market that includes a large affluent population of another country. Buffalo is a small market, but the situation seems to be working. Plus, it looks like the Saints may eventually end up in LA. If not, the Chargers can always go 130 miles up I-5. I don't believe that the Bills are going anywhere. And remember, I speak from experience, even though I've long since forgiven Art Modell. It was 10 years ago this very weekend that it was announced that the Browns were going to Baltimore. Mike

I seem to remember this sign at the 1993 AFC Title Game against the Chiefs: "WE'RE BACK, AMERICA. DEAL WITH IT." We have to remember that the early 90s teams were special. So special that I don't think ANY team will ever go to four consecutive Super Bowls again. Mike

Yes, and I'm sorry I did. Without Scott Norwood, there is no movie. Mike

You mean the guy who wrote "Purple Rain"? That little bee-yatch deserves to have his @$$ kicked. Mike

That's weird...my local UPN affiliate does the same thing. And then they show TV evangelists within an hour after that. Go figure. Mike