No it wont but there is hope.
Let me intorduce you to the
Foley Catheter
A Foley catheter is a thin, sterile tube inserted into your bladder to drain urine. Because it can be left in place in the bladder for a period of time, it is also called an indwelling catheter. It is held in place with a balloon at the end, which is filled with sterile water to hold it in place. The urine drains into a bag and can then be taken from an outlet device to be drained. Laboratory tests can be conducted on your urine to look for infection, blood, muscle breakdown, crystals, electrolytes, and kidney function. The procedure to insert a catheter is called catheterization.
A Foley catheter is used with many disorders, procedures, or problems such as these:
Retention of urine leading to urinary hesitancy, straining to urinate, decrease in size and force of the urinary stream, interruption of urinary stream, and sensation of incomplete emptying
Obstruction of the urethra by an anatomical condition that makes it difficult for you to urinate: prostate hypertrophy, prostate cancer, or narrowing of the urethra
Urine output monitoring in a critically ill or injured person
Collection of a sterile urine specimen for diagnostic purposes
Get one of these! They make GREAT Tailgating gifts too