BREAKING NEWS:
A six member council of the supreme and general inquisition has been established to include Bucky Gleason, Mike Schopp, The Bulldog, and to be led by Grand Inquisitor Jerry Sullivan.
The accused parties are said to include the entire Bills training staff, led by head of strength and conditioning Eric Ciano, head coach Rex Ryan, general manager Doug Whaley, and owners Terry and Kim Pegula.
The competency of the current training staff, extent of crimes against humanity committed at One Bills Drive, and proper punishment, if any, are the issues to be explored. Maximum penalties may include burning at the stake.
The council will convene today at 5:00pm at One Bills Drive.
Critics of current Bills training protocol and supporters of widespread change among the training staff are encouraged to attend. In anticipation of a large turnout, early arrival is encouraged.
"It's not too early to staaaaat shaaapening yaaaah pitchfaaaks and lighting yaaaah taaaaches," commented Grand Inquisitor Sullivan, when asked about the threat of violence at the inquisition.
Further details will be posted as they become available.