Yo Diary,
Are you there? It's me, Doug. I'm gonna be a head coach again. The teams are all clamoring over ol' Saint Doug. They probably keep calling at the same time and getting lines crossed, which is why I haven't heard anything yet. I already have my opening line for the first interview.
Hi, I'm Douglas Marrone. They say a coach is only as good as his last game. Well, Doug ain't one to brag or nothing, but my last game as head coach I beat Tom Friggin Brady, in friggin Foxboro. I'll be sure to win almost half of the division games for you too." Boom! ol' Dougie's gonna knock it right outta the park.
I ain't agreein' to no 4 or 5 year contract. Doug friggin' Marrone doesn't stay nowhere. I'm like Mary Friggin Poppins. Come in, fix ****, and leave.
Anyway diary, I gotta go, phone's ringing, it's probably Cleveland or San Francisco. Oh, it was just the pizza guy confirming my order. Obviously I wan't friggin anchovies, I'm an American, ain't I?
Well, Pizzas here.
Obviously yours,
St. Dr. Douglas Marrone Esq.