JoeF

Right now I am disguised as a 50ish white haired male living in Western New York holding down a fairly high profile job. In the past I have been the NBA's leading rebounder; a pro football running back; a pop singer; and a California cult leader with an accomplice named Squeaky.... What charachter should I take on next? Signed.. Louis Cipher

I amend my earlier post. The event is the unveiling of a new series of press conferences called Bills Horror Theater 3005. We begin tomorrow with a reenactment of the Shining. TD will come to the podium with an axe yelling "Here's Ralphie" ... JP will be in the background saying redrum, redrum, redrum... The versitale Sam Wyche will play the Shelly Duval screaming wife role with the help of his amplifier.. Eric Moulds with reshaven head will play the Scatman Crothers character ....it will be a regular feature of Thursday press conferences through the 2005-06 season...the Bills reenact the classics...next week its Buffalo Chainsaw Massacres...hockey masks will come from the Sabres unused inventory... just my guess..

He wants to announce that his autographed photo went for $8 on Ebay to some idiot from Raleigh, NC..who should be spending his money on his wife and 4 kids.... Or He wants to announce that Ralph has sold the team to him--and that he is changing the name to the Lucifers and the new logo will be Sissy Spacek in a bloody dress...post prom

I am bursting with pride.... I won the TD picture... My thought was to offer to the TBD tailgate to be either a) Burned or b) Given a place of status and honor....any other ideas? If the tailgate idea has merit -- I will need to send the picture to someone who will bring it to the tailgate...volunteers appreciated...and we can vote later in the off season on the burn vs. honor... Thanks...

Not if they are trading for Josh Reed and Travis Henry for their entire draft in '06 and Tra Thomas.....

Keep in mind that in the eastern part of my adopted home state (North Carolina) they finely ground up a WHOLE pig (SNOUT to TOES) to the consistency of tuna fish, cook it, pour vinegar on it and call it a great meal....the finger is probably vittles for Mr. Stowers' family....

If I win and send the photo to the tailgate--defacing the picture is also an option...

I am the current high bidder...... --If I win I will send it to someone for the tailgate so it can be either worshiped or burned....

This is an item I know everyone will want to bid on...Satan or Santa..... Autographed picture of TD

06-06-06 at 06:06:06 PM........you heard it here first...Bills have to win it this year...

They forgot step 5.... Carl and Kevin Poston decide on whom to include in upcoming shotgun lawsuit... Suzuki-defective bike--the chosen one could never wreck without defective equipment The Community College-for putting parking lots on campus. The Westlake, OH police-for touching the friggin soldier.. The Browns for not providing Kellen with a limo and 24 hour safety escort His helmet fell off after impact--he may have brain damage--but how could you really tell---he was already functioning at a brain damaged level...

Really hard to find a happy place in this story......

This one appears true...watch out fellow Tarheel State Residents.. .Frozen finger

Me likey the linky.......Scott Pitoniak is the anti-Jerry Sullivan but who cares...I like happy endings with my stories.

Its associate minister Johnson to you sir Lonnie -- a man of the cloth...

Send Everret to the glue factory....get Gus the kicking mule on the phone.... I think we should just skip the TE position...sign more 5' 3", 130Lb receivers and be done with it..maybe we can get roster exemptions for players below a certain height and weight....

This is so eerily similar to the Jay Williams accident in Chicago which will probably end up costing the former Dookie his NBA career....hope Kellen recovers quickly and the injuries are not as serious as Jay's.. That being said---I guess the chosen one and the !@#$ing soldier might want to find a dose of intellect somewhere... Wonder if the Poston's bought him the ride...come on Carl, Kevin--spring for a 24/7 limo for the chosen one..

I'll give you a couple: on D-- London Fletcher--enthusiastic, vocal, and hey coach put me on special teams and I'll help spring your returner for 4 touchdowns. Milloy---1-4 without him last year....8-3 with him...see a trend? Adams--after he got pissed off last year in the first Miami Game--he shut up and played his role...you have heard nothing from him about TD letting his pal Williams go--which surprised me--I think Sam wants to win one here bad. On O-- Chris V and Trey Teague--they guys look up to them..I also think Bennie Anderson has great potential here.. Moulds--the key to his team leadership is when Evans gets more balls this year--how does he react--I think he will become the class, savvy veteran who will make salary sacrifices down the road to keep the band together. The next generation: JP Losman, Terrence McGee, Aaron Schobel, Duke Preston, Lee Evans--all I think have great team leader potential... Surprises left off: TKO-a little bit too much me... Troy V.-too many outside interests... Willis--already talking about more money.... I like them all -- but leadership is about team--not about me....

FFS--I believe this is the key issue...along with last year's family health circumstances...Mike has always been good to great in the running game--this year I think we see the pass protector who protected Chris Simms' blind side in college so well...

BF--I agree that there is some company line BS in all this---but you know, guys like Milloy could just blow the media off instead of commenting.... Especially Milloy since his "The most important thing is getting paid" rant during the week leading up to the Super Bowl..he should be the first not to comment on anything..yet on his way off the practice field....on in the locker room--He was asked a question and decided to address it...he could have said the same thing Alan Faneca said when Rothliesberger took over last year--which was basically, "I'll believe it when I see him do it on the field"...instead he acknowledged that he was impressed with JP's work ethic and attitude and if he doesn't succeed, it won't be because he did not work hard enough... What in Milloy's comment is insincere?

A reporter in MM's press conference said... "Mike Williams looks "sleek" and "svelte" this spring." MM to paraphrase-- "Mike has been working hard and has dedicated himself this offseason" Run right Willis---Run right Willis..... Keep it up #68...

Part of this is obviously "company line" soundbites....but if you are a Bills often maligned offensive lineman--i think you have to be at least a little happy about having a fast, mobile QB behind you. Time will tell if JP has the all important innate skill to sense the rush. The Milloy comment is pretty impressive...considering he and Drew are buds.... The core guys (Milloy, Moulds, Adams, Spikes, Fletcher, Chris V., Teague) are becoming convinced that JP can lead a veteran team...

Mularkey- 1) Singled out Ron Edwards, Eric King, JP, Roscoe for recognition 2) Sam Wyche for working with JP got props 3) Everrett does not sound good --- will know tomorrow -- but from his voice it sounds like surgery and rehab--he sounded kind of down about this..hopefully he is just tired after three 20 hour days--film, etc. 4) Said they got a lot done and none of the rookies seemed intimidated by the pace or the playbook..threw in blitz packages and reads that he has never done in 20 years of coaching at the first mini-camp. JP 1) Singled out Wyche 2) Said what we have seen thus far in terms of his offseason is the way he will work from here on in... 3) Needs to work with Moulds more..Eric runs the out different from Lee and Roscoe and needs to get in better synch with Eric.. 4) He throws harder when facing the wind to keep his spiral tighter..no problem cutting a strong wind today. Good interviews but hard to hear because of the wind...worried about Everrett's status....too bad if its a season ender....

Thanks Lori...top notch stuff as always...

You know--Marvin Harrison has had some great years...and he is 175 lbs and 6'0" tall--and fast......Parrish is actually bulkier--3" shorter and the same weight.... speed is really hard to teach...as hard as Don Beebe tries God bless him...