Presenter (Graham Chapman):
Good evening.
CAPTION:
"THRUST - A QUITE CONTROVERSIAL LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND US"
Presenter:
I have with me tonight Anne Elk. Mrs Anne Elk.
Miss Elk:
(John Cleese, as a very prim lady)
Miss.
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION:
"ANNE ELK"
Presenter:
You have a new theory about the brontosaurus.
Miss Elk:
Can I just say here Chris for one moment that I have a new theory about the brontosaurus?
Presenter:
Er... exactly.
(he gestures but she does not say anything)
What is it?
Miss Elk:
Where? (looks round)
Presenter:
No, no. Your new theory.
Miss Elk:
Oh, what is my theory?
Presenter:
Yes.
Miss Elk:
Oh what is my theory that it is.
Well Chris you may well ask me what is my theory.
Presenter:
I am asking.
Miss Elk:
Good for you. My word yes.
Well Chris, what is it that it is - this theory of mine. Well, this is what it is - my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine
Presenter:
(beginning to show signs of exasperation)
Yes, I know it's yours, what is it?
Miss Elk:
Where? Oh, what is my theory? This is it.
(clears throat at some length)
My theory that belongs to me is as follows.
(clears throat at great length)
This is how it goes.
The next thing I"m going to say is my theory. Ready?
Presenter:
Yes!
Miss Elk:
My theory by A. Elk. Brackets Miss, brackets.
This theory goes as follows and begins now.
All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.
Presenter:
That's it, is it?
Miss Elk:
Spot on, Chris.
Presenter:
Well, er, this theory of yours appears to have hit the nail on the head.
Miss Elk:
And it's mine.