Ok, I saw it again, and one thing I learned was why the big hair 80's lasted so long. Apparently, it takes a decade or two for the hair to flatten out entirely, but anywhoo.
So the goth Michael Bolton guy is on, only no longer goth, more like Kid Rock now. He is asked what he remembers from the 90's. His answer was that he doesn't remember the 90's because he spent the decade touring with his band and writing songs. Party on, American Idol! This week, he wears one of those cowboy hats that looks like someone cut a swathe out of the side of a dairy cow and covered the top of the hat with it. He goes out to the crowd, putting the hat on Paula in the process. Instantly, I was reminded of the Matthew McConaghey character in "Dazed and Confused" that said "yeah, high school chicks, man. I keep getting older, and they just stay the saaaammmee agggeee". Paula says she is keeping the hat, she might want to defer that question to the wardrobe dept.
Cool song, though, never thought I'd hear the Black Crowes on AI. Simon then tells him that it reminded him of a wedding, and all across America, Bolton's core base slunked down in their chairs in dispair. Which is another question altogether, what is his base? The show will lead you to believe that it's young girls, but really, I think it's early-to-middle aged men who wear satin jackets from FM radio stations (classic rock, lite rock hits, that kind of fare) who are either in, or want to be in the biz.
The booby girl comes out, pretty boring. and wears acceptable clothing. It just doesn't work when it's cleaned up.
The aforementioned big hair situation comes out, sings a country song about freedom and independence day and stuff like that. It confirms a suspicion I had that 19E, the company that produces this show, has had the plan all along to capitalize on the red state/blue state craze that is all the rage lately. The problem lies in their attempts to find an acceptable and consistent "blue state" foe for her, what with the potentials quitting, sucking out, wearing mohawks, singing Partridge Family songs and whatnot.
The "other rocker" tell us that the 90's to him meant grunge! and Seattle! and Rock! and all that cool hard-ass rock! Then he proceeds to jackboot our lame asses with some hard core Bonnie Raitt. Simon calls him a classic pop star, and I proceed to go stick my spinning head in the oven.
The trach hole kid comes out wearing this bright lime green shirt and, get this, shiny white leather loafers! Exactly the kind you get when you rent a cheap tuxedo! He looks like a freaking popsicle!
This dreadlocked guy comes out, brings all kinds of suck to the masses, Randy tells him flat out that he has problems singing low. Paula then goes on for about ten minutes about how memorable it was, how f-ing awesomely awesome-like he is and how she hears that song all the time but only he can make it memorable, yada yada yada... Simon then turns to her and says " you need a new CD collection" BAM!
The only other observation of note was the trailer park love singer who wore silk pajamas on stage, Hefner-style. He must get lots of action.