WWVaBeach

There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story?????............................ And the moral is ...You can't kill two birds with one stone

No Sex Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the >> Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now." (Don't ya love military time?!)

Subject: Camel Sex A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sometimes the men have "urges." That's why we have the Molly. The Camel." The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges." The camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges" and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly. When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?", No not really, sir.. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13288179/

I live in Va Beach and I'm married to a Marylander. We get up there pretty regularly (Pasadena). Let me know when/where. I'm always looking for a party!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13091570/from/RS.1/

I just had a Mr Softee cone last month in Maryland. My wife and both headed for the front door as soon as we heard the music!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13070526/from/RS.4/

I remember that happening here one year with the Norfolk Admirals (AHL). I think it was the Lippezaner Stallions or something.

Will someone get a vidcap so we can have a look?

The letter is real. A guy I work with was on the ship. Happened the 1st night out.

Thanks Dan. I almost made a liar outta myself.

Got this little tid bit from A Washington Post article: Host Ryan Seacrest reminds viewers they will have "at least four hours to vote." How long exactly is "at least four hours?" If someone votes 12 hours later, will his vote still be counted? Something smells fishy here. HMMMMMMMMM

I in no way expected that to be the poll question!

This is so over for McFunBags. It seemed like she just expected it to be handed to her without any scrutiny, or criticism. She'll do OK in the future.

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him. "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," th e man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?" He replied, "It feels great ......but my thumb still hurts like hell."

My wife is a left-laner...drives me nuts! No pun intended. That's why I don't let her drive when we're travelling. Ya think the fact that she's from Maryland might explain it?

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/05/23/D8HPG6OG1.html

Ya think?

A link should be posted today.

I've tried that. Since it's an image (even on the Word Document) it won't work. I'll take some time and write it out word for word later. Very interesting how the cruise line makes sure to point out who's at fault, while trying not to offend anyone.

I have a copy of the letter that the Captain of the Mariner of the Seas sent out to the passengers after the incedent. It's in PDF format. Anyone know how I can post it here?

OMG!!! That cracked me up!!!!