unbillievable

Rome in July? Visit the Vatican, because it'll feel like hell with no AC, and they may have some tips. Find some local pizza. You have to try the food of the gods at the source. Carry a decoy wallet. It will be fun to see if you get jacked. Good story to tell if you do. Ask for meat balls with your pasta. Just do it. Bring a sketch book and sit on the steps of a temple. It doesn't matter what you draw. Pretend you're an architect. It's better than Axe body spray. Visit the tomb of Maximus Decimus Meridius.

Conservative doomsday preppers react by stockpiling guns and food. Liberal doomsday preppers react by taxing the hell out of corporations. Who is more crazy, people who fear terrorists or cow farts?

So how many trees were killed for the powerball hysteria?

Future events will feature both teams wearing the same uniform while competing over who can add the most points to a single combined score. Go High School Humans!!!

My strategy netted me 150% return on my investment on Wednesday.

95% flat tax rate where the first $1million is free!Each kid you pop out gives an additional 5 cents off~ 95% flat tax rate where the first $1million is free!Each kid you pop out gives an additional 5 cents off~

Those undocumented workers are just trying to make undocumented purchases... that woman needs to check her privilege; not everyone wants to work for stuff. Soda is a right!

So what do you do when there are experts saying we're headed towards a crash and boom at the same time?

This story probably goes in here... So I was stuck in rush hour traffic today, and I look over to the car next to me and see a Muslim couple (the woman was wearing one of those head things... anyway) I couldn't help but think: They could really cause a lot damage if they blow themselves up right now. We're surrounded by a see of slow moving gas cans. -probably a mist of diesel vapors in the air too. For about an hour, we leapfrogged each other in traffic, and I played a game of how badly I would get hurt based on how far I am from the Muslim SUV...

The last rich guy who won the lottery is now broke; Said it was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

No context, but I would assume there is some kind of metaphor regarding pigs (police) beating up birds of color?

Obama will save us with his pen and phone. He promised us just yesterday that everything is great!

I think I lived next to an escort business. an Old lady lived in the apartment, but every day, I'd see a random young woman go in (or out) of her place. Used to think it was her grandkids, but there were just soooo many of them.

Got my ticket. Line at the gas station went outside. No place to park on lot either. If you need gas the next two days you're screwed.

Shouldn't you be ashamed to be stealing money from two unemployed people who could be earning that money instead? What kind of liberal are you? -taking more than your fair share.

I wonder if he'll order flags be flown at half mast for David Bowie.

If Gary Johnson had become President. Marijuana would be legal The budget would be showing a a large surplus Infrastructure would be vastly improved There would be a national school voucher program Taxes would be at record lows We'd be talking about eliminating welfare in favor of a find-a-job program People would be asking what's the point of Congress if the President veto's every bill that comes to his desk. Canada would be building a wall on their border to slow the massive influx of liberals flocking north. The Bills would have lost another Superbowl

+Hilary would have already lost in 2012

Actually, the payout comes close to 1/3 if you take the lump sum after taxes. So somewhere around 450million. The only change I would make in my life would be to quit my job... so I can concentrate on the hookers and cocaine.

If Obama had lost the 2008 election: No one would be occupying a cabin in Oregon No one would care about Trayvon/Garner BLM would not exist There would be no talk about eliminating Affirmative Action/ Title IX Five terrorists leaders would still be in Guantanamo There would be no refugee crisis, but we would have more troops stationed in the ME. Benghazi/ Paris would not have been attacked. People would be complaining about the national debt hitting $15 trillion soon People would be complaining about their $500 deductable healthcare plan We'll be attributing the low gas prices to the XL pipeline. Farmers would be complaining about the lack of available migrant workers Harvey would not have hosted the Miss Universe pageant. Planned Parenthood would be selling more baby parts at higher prices Used car prices would be more reasonable. Osama bin Laden would be in prison. Iran would be further away from making a nuclear weapon There would be far fewer guns in American households. Cuba would still be closed to tourists Putin would not be as popular, or Russia as influential. Jon Stewart would still be hosting the Daily Show Climatologists would have adjusted their data to indicate higher global temperatures. Gay marriage would still be illegal in some states, along with marijuana. Mcdonald's would not be rolling out a kiosk system this year. Johnny Storm would have been white. (as well as Hermione) The Bills would have made the playoffs.

They have to destroy it, otherwise people will be able to tell how many bottles the cops kept for themselves.

You can't fold it in half if you cut it in curves.

This can't end well. Unlike the Occupy idiots, these ranchers can survive on their own; which means they have to be forcefully removed.

Probably Mattel or Hasbro.

I won't check my ticket for two days so I can dream about not having to go into work until Monday.