R. Rich

What's sarcasm?

My black what?

Hopefully that's the end of the drama surrounding Sam Adams and now he can concentrate on playing football.

You shouldn't say.

I've never been banned here. That was a misunderstanding and I've learned not to listen to those NOT in the know. You know I don't hate.

I did post those jokes in the spirit of the original post, which was a joke (hence the Silly Unfocused Wednseday, or SUW, tag). I really didn't want to offend anyone. I joke a lot about race just because it's something I know a lot about. I know all about white people's attitudes towards blacks, black people's attitudes towards whites, and everyone's attitudes towards blacks and whites together. I've dealt with racism on all those fronts, so to me, it's not a big deal. In order to keep my sanity, I just don't let that stuff get to me. Otherwise, my wife and I couldn't go out in public and have a good time because I'd be worried about people looking and whispering about "the black guy with the white lady." I was introduced to racism when I was very young and in order to cope, I'd do things like laugh along with the "n***er jokes" (as my classmates would affectionately refer to them) and even go as far as learning them and beating them to the punch line. That would make them go nuts! So, I've had a very cavalier attitude towards racism. Other people who are with me sometimes wonder how I can listen to certain comments or how I can laugh at those kind of jokes, but that was my defense mechanism and it has worked for the most part. It takes A LOT to get me heated to the point where words will make me want to fight with someone. I do realize that not everyone shares this perspective, so I do apologize for anyone being offended by the jokes. Most people realize that I was joking around but I see that not everyone is aware of that and also not everyone thinks it was funny. I hope those people know that I'm sincere in my apology and that it was all in good fun. Bad judgment, it seems. I'll lay off that stuff. Okay, back to bashing the Bills, baseball talk, and all that other crap.

Hopefully he'll come back. He's a good guy. He definitely knows how to stir up emotions around here.

You shouldn't hate, Steve.

Now you're doing exactly what I did. If it wasn't a joke, you appear to be quite hypocritical. If it was, then I find it amusing.

No Dennis, I don't hate myself. In fact, I don't hate. Am I a bigot? For the umpteenth time, no. It was a joke. Jungle bunnies? Man, I haven't heard that in a while. Anyway, check out the post I made where I explained what I inteded to do with the post. Sorry it got to you.

Bedsheets work in a pinch.

Just one. She's over at Two Bills Drive.

Yeah, but you knew that already.

Sucker!

I haven't watched the West Wing in a while. Wednesday is my night to watch American Justice on A&E and CSI: New York.

I posted those in the spirit of the original post, which is tongue in cheek. They posted jokes "to offend everyone". Well, I coulnd't let them leave out blacks, could I? I'm judging by the responses I've read that some are offended while most are not. To those of you who are offended, please know that it wasn't intended to offend anyone. I do apologize to those who did take offense. See how easy it is to be on the opposite end of an issue without resorting to name calling? I sure hope the mods/admins don't "yank" my screen name. I like it here.

Here you go: Q. Why is it that most Italian Men are called Tony? A. When they boarded the boat to America, they stamped To NY [Tony] on their foreheads... Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights. Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different? A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys. Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them. A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi." Q. How can you identify the Italian at the rooster fight? A. He's the one who bets on the duck. Q. How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the rooster fight? A. Well, if the Duck wins, you know they are! Francis and Isabella were having their usual battle of the sexes. "Italian men are all stupid," screamed Isabella "Oh, yeah?" yelled her husband. "I'll have you know it was an Italian man who invented the toilet seat!" "And I'll have you know," said his wife, "it was an Italian woman who thought of putting a hole in it!" Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak? A: Pig Latin! Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mammas. "Listen, God is everywhere, trust me, he is absolutely everywhere," the wise old Sicilian priest told little Gianluca, who thought about this for a moment, before grabbing a half-opened matchbox lying on the table, quickly snapped it shut and declared triumphantly: "Got him!!!" Q: How can you tell if an Italian is in the Mafia? A: His favorite dish is broken leg of lamb. Q. Why is it that Italy is shaped like a boot? A. Do you really think they could fit all that sh** in a tennis shoe? Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be? A. The least hairy of the three! Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!" This Italian bloke had never played golf before and so asked for some tips before starting the game. An American player decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball. The American said, "You take this stick and hit the balls so that they roll into the hole". The American putted away and sank the ball from 20 feet in a single stroke. The Italian replied, "In America, you leave your sticka outta and a putta your balls in da hole, but in Italia, we put our sticka inna da hole and leave our balls out"! A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, "Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS...and write on the envelope, 'Now you have everything.'" Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil? Q: What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 170? A: Sicily. Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business? A. Usually through the skylight. Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna? She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!" How to Impress an Italian Lady: Wine her, dine her, hug her, support her, compliment her, suprise her, smile at her, hold her, romance her, laugh with her, shop with her, cuddle her, go to the end of the earth for her... How to Impress an Italian Man: Show up naked, Bring Beer. A young priest was tempted by sins of the Flesh and astonishingly went to a call girl. Being unable to hold his emotions, he screams out: "My Daughter, the Lord is with us..." "Well, in that case, you're paying double..." Q. What's an innuendo? A. An Italian suppository.

My wife and I saw them perform live about a year ago in Columbia, MD. Great show. Did the Freeview show have the tickers on each side of the stage that kept 'arguing' with each other?

Blue Man Group is awesome.

Oops! Sorry I missed ya. For future reference, I do tape all of the games so if you need a copy, just PM me.

I'm available to speak to the group if necessary, Dan.

Oh puh-leaze!! These are right up your alley, Cindy. Hey, only 2 more days until we see you here.

Fooled you, didn't I? WHITE POWER!!!

That's probably my favorite line from Back To School.

Psycho Ward 86 and I had ours at Bertucci's. They need a funnier name.