Accompanied by his attorney, Mr. Friedman told reporters of the suspicions he had growing up that he was African American.
“From an early age I was inexplicably drawn to black people. Their eating habits, their hairstyles and the way they spoke. Anyone who knows me can tell you the profound influence rap music has had on me. Throughout my life I always had a deep rooted suspicion that my biological father was a wealthy black man. Today I just want to express the jubilation I feel knowing that I am an African American.”
Delashaun’s Attorney, Carson “Butch” Calhoun, issued a statement to reporters.
“On Saturday my client experienced several profound, life altering revelations. At the age of forty-four he learned that his real father is a wealthy business man, a candidate running for the office of President of the United States and an African American. Individually these shocking truths would warrant compensation for long term, in-depth psychological counseling. But the emotional lump sum of these bewildering truths is too heavy a load for one person to bear without the comfort and support that only a sizable settlement would ensure.”
This has to be one of the funniest things I've read in a longgggg time.
Anyway, it appears the Pizza king should've been a little more greedy with his pepperoni.