I think the players could have looked past it if they respected Meyer to begin with and if he owned it. From the videos, it appears that Urban and this young lady were both fine getting up close and personal. That's between them and Meyer's wife to figure that part out. It's not like many of the players haven't had women come up to them in a very open way in a bar/club. There's also been plenty of well-known drama involving players and their wives/girlfriends.
But an NFL head coach is supposed to be the guy who lives at the facility, whose greatest joy in life is a lost hour of sleep watching film. Players are going to respect a coach who is doing the work that he is telling them to do, plus some.
I think Meyer's biggest problems with the players is that he preached that "nobody will work harder than us" then:
#1: He abandoned them on their flight home after a heartbreaking loss
#2: He was out partying without a care in the world while they were flying back, going through security, getting back to the facility, getting home late, etc.
#3: He brought up Trevor Lawrence's name in his "apology." A totally slimy thing to do.
#4: He cancelled a team meeting to avoid facing the players.
In short, he looks like a clown and a phony. He's a "family man" who works harder than anyone else, yet everything he does undermines his own persona. Guys can see right through that, and nobody respect that.