ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

Shoot Billy Buffalo from a moving train and I'm with ya.

I don't agree. Here's why: I agree that if the Bills win out, they will finish at 9-7 overall, and 7-5 in common games. I agree that the Jets are currently 4-3 in common games, so if the Jets lose any two of their remaining 5 five games against common opponents, they will also finish 7-5 in common games. But that doesn't contradict my analysis above. If we win out, and the Jets lose 2 of their remaining 5 games against common opponents, there cannot be a tie in overall records if the Jets also lose to Raiders. That would give the Jets a total of three more losses in their remaining games, so they would finish at 8-8, a game behind the Bills, who finish 9-7 if they win out. There would be no tie that needed to be broken. The Jets remaining schedule contains 5 common opponents and one game against the Raiders. Nothing else. So if we win out, AND the Jets lose to the Raiders, then it's impossible for the Jets to finish in a 9-7 tie with us if they also lose two of their other remaining games. If the Jets lose to the Raiders and lose only one of their other 5 remaining games, the Jets could finish in a 9-7 tie with us. But then they would be 8-4 in common games, while we would be 7-5 in common games. There's just no way around the fact that after splitting head-to-head with the Jets, there are only two kinds of games on the schedule. If we have a better record in the 2 non-common games than the Jets, the ONLY way we can wind up with the same overall record as the Jets is if the Jets have a better record in their other games (all of which are against common opponents). If we beat JAX and the Jets lose to the Raiders, there is no scenario in which the Bills and Jets can end the season with the same overall record without the Jets having a better record against common opponents. If you disagree you are welcome to try to give me one concrete example to the contrary (i.e., any combination of future results that includes (1) we beat JAX (2) Raiders beat Jets (3) Jets and Bills end season in a two-way tie with the same overall record, and (4) common opponents tie-break is reached and Bills survive it. The math says it can't be done. Note that common opponents tie-break is not reached if Jets and Bills have different AFC East division records.

I would check on Ralph's health so that I would have a better idea if I would be able to keep the job until the end of the week.

Just for grins I took a look at the Dolphins record in non-common games, and found some good news. The Dolphins have already beaten both the Colts and the Chargers, so they are 2-0 in non-common games. But the Bills have already lost the only non-common game they have played so far (to KC). So if we wind up in a two way tie with the same overall record as the Phish, the ONLY way we can lose that tie-break is if the Phish wind up with a better AFC East division record than us (so far they are 0-2 against the AFC East), because: 1. We can do no worse than a split with Miami head-to-head; and 2. We are already GUARANTEED to win any two-way common games tie-breaker with the Phish if we reach the third tie-breaker (because we already know that no matter what we do against the Jags, our record in non-common games will be worse than 2-0).

Yeah it does - - the analysis is kind of like the one for NFC opponents if we wind up in a two way tie with a team from some other AFC division. In that scenario, if we didn't play the other AFC team head-to-head, conference games are the next tie-breaker, so we are better off if our losses are in NFC games rather than in AFC games. Similarly, in a two way tie with a division rival, we are better off if our losses are in non-common games as opposed to common games. Let's hope the Jets crater and no tie-break is required.

If we beat JAX, it's mathematically impossible for us to win the common games tie-breaker with the Jets. Best we could hope for is that Jets beat the Raiders. In that scenario, Bills and Jets would have identical records against common opponents, and the fourth tie-breaker would be used (assuming that both teams also had the same AFC East record so that second tie-breaker doesn't determine the outcome).

If we wind up in a two way divisional tie for 2nd place with the Jets, the tie-breaking hierarchy is: 1. head-to-head 2. AFC East divisional record 3. common games We already split head to head with the Jets, so in any tiebreak scenario where we wind up with the same divisional record as the Jets, we will reach the third tiebreaker, which is games against common opponents. But if you think about it, our record against non-common opponents determines whether our record against common opponents is better than the Jets, the same as the Jets or worse than the Jets (because the analysis starts with the assumption that our overall record for all 16 games is the same as the Jets - - that's the whole reason why tiebreakers come into play). So look at the non-common opponents for us and the Jets - - there are only 2 - -they are: Jets: lost to TN, still have to play Raiders on 12/8 Bills: lost to KC, still have to play JAX on 12/15 If the Jets beat the Raiders and we lose to JAX, the Jets will be 1-1 against non-common opponents, while the Bills will be 0-2 against non-common opponents. In that scenario, the Bills will have a better record against common opponents than the Jets. That's not my opinion, that's just math (because we are assuming that Bills and Jets end the season with the same overall record). Stated differently, if (1) the Jets have a better record against non-common opponents than the Bills, but (2) the Bills and Jets have the same overall 16 game record, then by definition (3) the Bills WILL have a better record against common opponents than the Jets. If the playoff calculator doesn't show the Bills wining a two-way tiebreaker with the Jets where (1) both teams have the same AFC East division record, (2) Jets beat Raiders, and (3) Bills lose to JAX, then the playoff calculator is programmed wrong. It may not be intuitive, but if we beat JAX and the Jets lose to the Raiders, then the only way we can possibly win a two way tie with the Jets is to have a better AFC East record.

I'm gonna have to convince my significant other that she's allergic to chocolate.

They don't have picnic tables in Ohio? Or he was just too mentally challenged to find one?

The beer has a chance for a great offbeat marketing campaign - - article doesn't say what brand it was, but how about: "Victoria Bitter - - Your mates would kill for it" "Victoria Bitter - - Better keep it under lock and key" "Victoria Bitter - - When you're just dying for a beer" "Victoria Bitter - - Gotta hide if you steal one" and about a million others.

More marital oddness in India: http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-12-12/coimbatore/30508616_1_sivakumar-family-court-coimbatore There's a sitcom in there somewhere.

There once were two dumb f*#ks in Winnellie Whose involvement was seen on the tellie They beat their mate to a pulp Cause he denied them a gulp Then they lit up his swelling beer belly

Arm!

Did you beat the Kobayashi Maru scenario at Starfleet Academy?

She says she didn't want to WEAR 666. So just turn it upside down, and WEAR 999. Problem solved.

I agree: http://www.americanbear.org/FUR.htm We would need to check his ID to be sure, though.

Behold the wonder of the Interweb tubes - - according to the American Bear Association (who knew?): http://www.americanbear.org/FUR.htm

Whaddaya mean you want your money back for the dance lessons? It's not my fault you got thrown out of that Dodger playoff game - - if you didn't have three left paws they would have let you stay! http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/10/dodgers-rally-bear/

http://www.cowabduction.com

From the link in the OP: So if we outfitted a safety with a space-shifting uniform, we could put 8 in the box and make it look like 7, or vice-versa. Let's see Peyton Manning audible to the correct play against THAT. Or we could put Robey on the DL and make him look the size of Ted Washington or Sam Adams. The possibilities are endless. Not sure if that favors or argues against using capes, though.

I did a non-exhaustive google on the interweb tubes and did not find a definitive answer about exactly when the NFL schedule-makers start the process of making the next year's schedule. I did find the the following 4/19/12 NY Times article about the schedule making process, which I found interesting: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/20/sports/nfl-schedule-makers-try-their-best-to-please-everybody.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

You might be right about the motivation for the Bills' complaint, or you might be wrong. Either way, your post up-thread was a bit snarky - - but hey, I sometimes get snarky when we lose, too, so no hard feelings on my end. Anybody actually know when the 2014 scheduling process starts? If I have time later today, I'll try to do the google about it on the interweb tubes.

It's my understanding that every team in the NFL, including the Bills, already knows the identity of their opponent for 14 of the 16 regular season games in 2014. Do you think it's a coincidence that every team in the AFC East plays each team in the AFC North and each team in the NFC South once this year? It's not. Every year the Bills play 6 games against AFC East teams, 4 games against another entire AFC division, 4 games against an entire NFC division, and two other AFC games. If I recall correctly, the NFC division and the "other" AFC division we play rotates each year on a pre-determined schedule. As a result, the Bills play every AFC team at least once every three years, and play every NFC team exactly once every four years. But since you've "got it together," you already knew that, right? While it's true that the opponent's identity for 2 AFC games won't be known until the 2013 regular season standings are final, there's no reason why the league couldn't start working on the 2014 schedule now if it wanted to. I don't know when the scheduling work for 2014 games actually starts, which is why I can't evaluate the timeliness of the Bills' recent scheduling complaint without additional information. Comprende?

Seems to me that unless you know when the NFL starts working on the 2014 schedule, we have no basis to judge the effectiveness of the timing of the Bills' complaint. I don't see any reason why the NFL couldn't be starting to work on the 2014 schedule now, which at least potentially could make the Bills' complaint timely.

If you don't like a curved handset, you can just skip the handset altogether and attach the phone to your neck: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57611950/google-tattoo-sticker-sized-voice-transmitter-thats-also-a-lie-detector/