ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

Old and slow.

Pie-hole, ear-holes, and at least 1 more. Yeah, LG.

The comedic possibilities boggle the mind, but I'm feeling charitable today, so I'll just let everybody supply their own joke.

Based on the number of emoticons that OCinBuffalo uses, I would think that there's several times that many.

As they say in the Ford commercials, "I like and better." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5Qh98ANBkg

Remember that famous photo from the Tiananmen Square uprising in China where an iron-willed Chinese guy stopped an entire column of tanks by standing in front of the lead tank? If that Chinese guy had been wearing a Trent Edwards jersey, he'd be dead. Of course, that would also make him a time traveler (Trent was 5 years old then), so it would have been an even bigger loss.

1. Didn't know any other way to update this already archived thread: http://forums.twobil...age__hl__foster 2. with some new information about another potential claim on Foster's future earnings: http://www.dailymail...ue-married.html 3. Wonder how that shakes out?

Apparently, country singer Trace Adkins was on a country music themed cruise and got into a drunken fight with his own impersonator: http://dlisted.com/2...-a-cruise-ship/ Must have felt like brawling with your mirror. That's pretty funny IMO, but it got better when I did a quick google search and found the following lyrics for his song "Fightin' Words" - - maybe the impersonator dissed his dog or his mama or his woman: So one slip of the tongue 'bout my dog Or my woman Or this country that I proudly serve You'll see a side of me man That you damn sure don't wanna Cause them there's fightin' words http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO1EwCq4b9w

It was time to thin the herd.

Sounds like for The Professor, the correct answer to the common question was "Ginger."

So the next time a coach like Jauron elects a cowardly punt from the other team's 30, the reduced odds of making a field goal would let him get his man card back?

The Terminator movies got it wrong - - the conscious home will become self-aware in a few years and de-tune our furnaces to poison us with carbon monoxide in our sleep: Don't say my brother Darryl didn't warn you.

Googlebots are SO 2013 - - the future is "bacteria-bots:" http://bluesky.chicagotribune.com/chi-south-korea-claims-worlds-first-cancertreating-nanorobot-bsi-news-20140106,0,0.story

Was he figurin' he'd just watch the movie with a little peace and quiet after he shot the guy?

Wie Tu Row

Try here and look for really old guys: http://www.cityofmechanicsville.net

Well, if we're going for bizarro miniature golf football to make extra points less boring, how about this: After you score a TD, if you want to kick an extra point, the other team gets to designate anybody on your game day active roster as the guy who has to kick it. Kind of like basketball free throws if the guy who gets fouled also gets too hurt on the play to stay in the game.

Maybe if the photographer had bothered to get in the car and step on the brake, instead of worrying about getting the cute picture of the dog driving, there wouldn't have been an accident in the first place.

Carolina just ran 2 plays in a Hail Mary situation from their own 35 yard line at the end of the 49er game. On the first, offensive formation was 2 WR each side, with a RB in the backfield. Defense lined up 3 DL to pass rush, one defender on each side of the field 10 yards downfield from the line of scrimmage (couldn't see jersey numbers, but body type looked like LBs), with everybody else more than 12 yards deep and not in the picture. At the snap, the 3 DL rushed the passer, all 4 WR and the 2 LBs ran downfield out of the picture, and the RB circled out of the backfield to the short middle. QB threw an incomplete pass to the far sideline, and at time he made the throw, the only defenders within 20 yards of the line of scrimmage were the 3 DLs. On the second, offense lined up 3 WR to bottom of screen, 1 WR at the top, and a RB in the backfield. Defensive lined up 3DL and 1 LB at the line of scrimmage, all of whom rushed the passer. Four other defenders were in the picture, and seemed to have man coverage assignments against the 4 WR, but they were giving an 8-10 yard cushion at the snap. Play was a WR screen to the near sideline. The defender guarding Ginn (the WR who caught the WR screen pass) took two steps back, and didn't come forward until after the QB threw it. Crazy play probably has a shot against the first defensive formation. Unclear for the second play, because no way to know where the DB goes if a WR (in the crazy play - Carpenter) had circled into the backfield.

If even one defender follows Carpenter all over the field, the play obviously won't work. Can't say that I know how often the defensive scheme against an expected Hail Mary pass would involve (1) man-to-man coverage assignments against each of 5 WR (plus 3 DL pass rushers plus 3 safeties in zone covering 1/3 of end zone each), versus (2) 3 DL pass rushers plus 8 other defenders all in pretty deep zone coverage. I would hope that any DB on the field at the start of an expected Hail Mary pass would instinctively react to a suspicion of trickery (even if he didn't know exactly what kind of trick it would be), by dropping deep. I would hope that the other team's DB coach's primary instruction to his DBs would be - - "Don't let your man get behind you, 'cause that's the only way we lose the game." But just because I hope those things doesn't make 'em true. I'll be watching most of the rest of this year's playoff games. If we get any Hail Mary plays, I'll try to watch whether a DB appears to take each WR man-to-man near the line-of-scrimmage (if the camera crew cooperates). So how about this modification - - before the snap, have unequal numbers of true WRs swap sides of the formation. If the DBs flip flop with them, then QB knows there's some man-to-man coverage and audibles to a true Hail Mary. If the DBs don't swap sides with the WRs (and therefore don't care that you just increased the number of WRs on one side of the field, while decreasing the number of WRs on the other), then run the crazy play.

1. Any guy with a jersey number that allows him to play any of the 5 OL positions without having to report to the referee, who also has good enough hands to catch a pass while standing still, would seem to make sense. Seems to me like the ability to catch a pass would eliminate more OL guys from consideration than the ability to properly place it on the ground after catching it. If the play is deceptive enough, an extra half second in placing it down won't make much difference - - but if the guy drops the backward pass, it will add so much time to the kick that it would almost certainly kill the play. If he drops the pass and it rolls more than about 1 yard downfield from the original line of scrimmage, he can't even legally go get it on a kicking play! 2. It's my understanding that Carpenter could line up anywhere but one of the 5 interior OL positions without having to report to the referee. 3. The "double trick" is a pretty imaginative wrinkle - - if we ever got coordinator jobs in the NFL we'd probably both get fired after our first game!

The one yard beyond the line of scrimmage is the exact same rule for pass blocking, so it's not much different from what the OL usually does on a Hail Mary. So it maintains deception and doesn't require much additional training for 4 of the 5 OL guys. We would have to rely on deception to get the DL far enough toward the sideline, because if the DL or a MLB doesn't get pulled either deep or to the side our OL couldn't fire downfield to block them. Thanks for the diagram. If a MLB is patrolling the shallow middle and doesn't go either deep or to the sideline, the crazy play would not work. But if you give the defense a 5 WR look rather than 4 WR and a halfback, would the D still have a MLB guarding the shallow middle? Seems like maybe not.

1. I'm proposing that the ball gets spotted 1/2 yard behind the original line of scrimmage . . rather than 7 yards behind the original line of scrimmage like on a normal field goal try. That's why the end result of the play is shortening the field goal try by 6.5 yards. 2. Relying on an OL to catch and spot the ball might be the weakest part of the crazy play, but my intuition says that the right guy could do it. In the past, we had Jason Peters who was a TE in college, and we also had DE Ryan Denney (sp?) as a receiver on a successful fake punt play, so some lineman-sized guys should have good enough hands. Maybe Lee Smith playing OT? If we somehow added a normal holder to the play, the likelihood of the deception working goes down too much. 3. As for spotting the ball, how hard can that be? On a normal field goal try, the timing is very important because so many guys are rushing, and even a short delay in spotting the ball can get the kick blocked. With the crazy play, either the deception works or it doesn't. If the defense is deceived and thinks they're facing a hail mary pass play, it's at least possible that the defensive players will wind up so far from the "holder" that if the holder can just catch the ball cleanly, he has plenty of time to set it down. With good enough deception, I could even see Carpenter being able to take extra steps if that lets him kick with more power.

Scenario assumes no time for the quick out. Hail Mary is clearly the conventional wisdom and what the defense expects - - but that expectation just might help this crazy play work.

Good wow or bad wow?