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Everything posted by ICanSleepWhenI'mDead
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Apology Letters to the Pats*
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Kirby Jackson's topic in The Stadium Wall Archives
I know nothing about the "bimbo wannabe actress" he's dating, and I'm no fan of the guy. But unless his marriage vows included something about what he promised to do for the first year after "death do us part," or he started getting involved with the bimbo while his wife was still alive, his current dating habits may say something about his judgment, but they don't reflect poorly on his character. His kids should be happy he has a life, cause their mom was the one who died, not him. -
National pie day...what's your favorite?
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Beerball's topic in Off the Wall Archives
How about March 14 in 159 AD? -
Best use of a song in a movie...
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to BillsPride12's topic in Off the Wall Archives
I always liked "Love On a Real Train" by Tangerine Dream in the late night train scene in Risky Business: and I also thought "Humans Being" by Van Halen in the competitive storm chasing scene in Twister was pretty good, too: -
If The Bills Were a WWE Wrestler?
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Nasty's topic in The Stadium Wall Archives
Rex Ryan -
Doug Marrone's Diary
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to BringBackFergy's topic in Off the Wall Archives
January 20th, Dear diary, People are so mean. They tease me because they think that coaching the Bills to a winning record for the first time in like forever isn't really a miracle, so I haven't earned the right to be called Saint Doug. Well I've got news for all the haters. If I can't perform miracles, how did I get my dog to author his own video diary? 'Splain that to me, Mr. Whaley. When the Pope visits Philadelphia, I'm gonna give his whole Ynez this link, and we'll see about who deserves sainthood: I miss my testicles, too, Saint Doug -
Doug Marrone's Diary
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to BringBackFergy's topic in Off the Wall Archives
January 19th Dear Diary, Thought I had the Fireman Ed Doug gig with the Jets, but the helmet was too small. I tried to persuade them that the small helmet made my hose look bigger, but to no a veil. Go figure. I've still got coach of the Orange on my resume. Maybe I'll look for a team named the Lime or the Tangerines or maybe even generic Citrus. Fruit teams always love me, Doug -
Doug Marrone's Diary
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to BringBackFergy's topic in Off the Wall Archives
January 18th, like really late at night (or is it early in the morning - - who cares, I can sleep when I'm employed) Dear Diary, Things are looking up. Remember Fireman Ed, that Jets so-called "fan" who quit on his team? Woody says I'm the perfect guy to replace him - - they've still got the fireman's helmet for me to wear. I've got a private interview for the job soon (I wonder why they called it an audition?) Don't know if I'll have to bring my own hose to the games - - mine's pretty short so maybe Hack-it can hold it for me. XOXO to me, Doug -
Add mailboxes to the list (NSFW article title)
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Beerball's topic in Off the Wall Archives
??? -
Parents upset by name of school.
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Beerball's topic in Off the Wall Archives
Liffey Skender is complaining about the school name? Liffey? -
Well assuming that's all true, the solution is pretty simple. For every kamikaze songbird that splats against the stadium, the following year you put a domestic cat wearing a video cam in each hedgerow infested with killer cowbirds. You pay one guy to monitor the video feeds, and when the cats have killed just the right number of brown-headed cowbirds the guy stops watching the video feed and herds all the cats back into the stadium. But you need to start with an accurate count of the number of kamikaze songbirds that splat into the stadium each year. So you have a fan promotion - - any fan who brings a dead kamikaze songbird to a home game gets to pick out a free kitten from the cat quarters. Net impact of the new stadium on the songbird population is zero, you create a video monitoring job to help the local economy, brown-headed cowbirds get what's coming to them, and fans get free kittens! Everybody wins (except the cowbirds).
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Disagree. The NFLPA approved a collective bargaining agreement that contains a standard form player contract that gives each team the contractual right to cut a player (even if he has a multi-year contract). Exercising a contractual right to terminate a multi-year contract does not amount to "failing to honor it." Here's a link to the 2011 collective bargaining agreement: https://nflpaweb.blob.core.windows.net/media/Default/PDFs/General/2011_Final_CBA_Searchable_Bookmarked.pdf It's really long, but the standard player contract starts at page 256. Section 11 of the contract, at page 260, reads:
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OK so generally I hate advice threads.
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Pine Barrens Mafia's topic in Off the Wall Archives
You have about as much imagination as Doug Marrone. -
Steve Kroft affair on page six..nyp
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to Kemp2Warlick's topic in Off the Wall Archives
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJhjf7KUyko -
Insult the Previous Poster
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to /dev/null's topic in Off the Wall Archives
Fish love you - - women fear you. -
Hey, we've got nothing better to do during the playoffs for the last decade and a half, so I'll start with: Whaley gets Watkins Egotistical Marrone Coaching carrousel I'm sure y'all can do better!
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whaley's analytics dept
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to birdog1960's topic in The Stadium Wall Archives
That's not obvious to me. You can at least make an entirely rational argument that despite having a bad offense, you should take risks on 4th and 1 if your defense is so good that failure is not likely to result in points for your opponent. Especially if your offense is in a situation where one more first down puts you within FG range for a kicker as reliable as Carpenter has been. Because you can make rational arguments to support either decision, it would be interesting to see what the analytics department would recommend based on actual in-game data (say for teams with a similar overall defensive and offensive ranking). My sense is that NFL coaches in general are far too conservative, but that's a hunch based on no real data analysis. -
The Bills top 2 picks are 50 and 81
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to YoloinOhio's topic in The Stadium Wall Archives
Gravity. -
WTF!? Blue on Blue Sunday?
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead replied to The Big Cat's topic in The Stadium Wall Archives
My brother Darryl says the Bills should use the Coors "blue mountain" technology to make white uniforms that turn a little more blue every time Orton throws a pick: http://money.cnn.com/2009/07/13/smallbusiness/chromatic_color_changing_ink.fsb/