CountDorkula

This is the email going around work right now. Enjoy it. . . The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1.. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS. 1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

No!

Hey Jimmy my friends, friends, mothers, sisters, uncles wife said she needs a guy to take care of some busy work. With your degree, and your smarts im sure you be perfect for the urinal cleaning position that they are looking for. In fact I'll call her up for you too. P.S. Harrison is going to make Sanchez look like an over cooked crinkle cut french fry.

Ma and Pop pizza places. Bella Pizza I could eat there almost everyday and never get sick of there pizza!

Lets Hope Fox has a fall out with Timothy Tebow and says they need a qb and drafts Newton/Gabbert at 2. *crosses fingers*

You dont know how much it pains me to say that. The Jets have moved up to my number 1 most hated team right infront of Dallas. I want the Jets to be shut up. I want them to have to put their feet in their mouths (Puns intended)

Burt Reynolds AKA Turd Ferguson

The same NFL nerd that is top 5 in teh league every year in receptions, YAC yards. . . The same NFL nerd that can single handedly destroy the Bills everytime they play them. The same NFL nerd that I would take on the Bills in less then 3 seconds if he said he would play here. I thought it was cleverly done and very subtle. Cromartie is going to have a very long day this weekend i cant wait. I never though I would say Lets go Pats, but the Jets are just annoying school children. I hope the Pats* drop 60 on them.

OK this has got to stop. Every QB that is brought up that the Bills may draft, he is compared to Ryan Leaf. There will never be another Ryan Leaf. Ryan Leaf is 1 person that got involved with drugs and screwed his carrer, becuase he could not handle the pressure of being a top pick. Why cant Mallet = Tom Brady or Phillip Rivers or Matt Ryan? Why does it always have to be Ryan Leaf? (/rant)

I don't know why I put winning, It was supposed to say Playing, It was Super Bowl 27 (I think) against the Pack anyways. I think they lost by 2 points er something close. Still he got his team to the super bowl.

You're right it would be terrible to have a QB that was the nature of SUPER BOWL CALIBER QB Drew Bledsoe. Why would we want anything like that around here...

My cousin got sent down to NYC to help remove snow along with others, except now its snowing here and we need plow drivers and such. . . thanks alot NYC, First you take all of our energy, now you take all of our plow drivers.

Lets go Hawks!! First 7-9 team to win the Superbowl!

Blue Skies!!!

Shhhh. That would involve logic. That has no place here on TSW.

I think a lot of the Harbaugh excitement or interest is coming from his brothers success in Baltimore. Plus it does help to have one of the best college QB's to play the game. I for one would be very cautious with him if I was an owner/GM. It has been shown before that college coaches rarely have success in the NFL.

I agree with this. While I dont do yoga per say. I do a relaxation excercise every night. Sitting on the ground eyes closed and also doing stretches while listening to some light music on my mp3 player. Mostly do stretches involving the lower back. IMO the lower back is key to everything else you do.

Don't overdue anything, start light almost as a cardio thing and work your way up on the weights. The 3rd day of your workout routine is going to suck. Your entire body is going to be sore. You can thank something I believe it is called "dealyed onset muscle syndrome" this will get less and less as you get furter into a routine If you are trying to gain muscle due heavier weight with less reps (3 sets of 8-10) If you are trying to tone muscle due lighter weight with more reps (3 sets of 12-14) Concentrate on muscle groups on certain days; I.E. my routine is as follows Monday - Chest and Shoulders/upperback / abdominals / calfs Tuesday - Triceps, biceps and lower back / abdominals / Wednesday - Glutes , hamstrings, leg day Thursday - off Friday - Light routine of a combination of mon tues and wed Saturday - off Sunday - off Eating protein after is key if you are trying to gain muscle mass. Usually i have some chocolate milk and a peanut butter sandwhich.

After that victory last night, It's no wonder they were drunk still at 6AM. 5 golas in 15 minutes to beata the powerhouse Canada. Viva la Russia! So how many days until someone makes a big stink about the kids being underage and drunk?

You want me to send you a bottle of yourself? This is just getting weird now. . .

What i took away most from that game is his ability to shift inside the pocket. He did not run around like Big Ben or Cam Newton etc. . . but he was able to avoid the rush. You dont need an overly mobile QB in this league. You need one that can avoid a sack by sliding over in the pocket. Mallet did this very well. His stock is rising, bad thing for the Bills I can see someone like Minn taking him.

I'm sorry, we were looking for "Milk Carton"

If yesterday was not Saturday, and The atomic weight of Gold is 196.97. Then where does milk come from?

Sneak attack #2

Im off Thursday (vacation day) Friday - office is closed Saturday and Sunday!!!!!!