benderbender

FWIW I like Beane. We agree he's very good at his job. As long as he's representing my favorite colored laundry, he's fine with me. Must be his NC accent that puts me on guard. Sounds like every Mid-Atlantic politician I've heard since moving to enemy territory.

He just isn't wearing his used car salesman uniform. Remember when he had the entire NFL believing he was all in for Breece Hall? That we were trading up for a top 3 WR? When he said Diggs wasn't going anywhere? He's slicker than alligator poop on a bald-tired semi on a mile of wet asphalt. The proof is that you think he's an honest guy. He could tell you you're laid off and you'd thank him for letting you pack up your desk. He could convince you that you could out pizza the hut!

No need to trade. He's going to get cut if Hyde comes back. He's safety 5 at the moment.

I know, right? Two of my warning points were for indirectly referencing that thing that happened 4 years ago. Just to show you what a world it was at the time. No foul language. Not even fowl language like "what the 🦆?"

I'm done celebrating offseason wins. The highlight of one of the drought years was the HOF induction speeches.

Roasts used to be a tribute to a great person. Now roasts are used as PR damage control. For example Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump. That's because a roast used to show how affable you were, and how well you could take a deprecating joke. Now they're pitched by public relations teams to minimize the damage of the most recurring zingers by saying "We've heard that one before. That's old." At best you feel sorry for him. They're hoping people "took it too far." That way he can get sympathy. Slowly rebuild his image, like Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, Mark Maguire.... a theme perhaps? Too on the nose? Tom Brady is trying to become a mogul. Why isn't everyone falling over themselves to recruit him into their ownership team? Primarily because he's viewed by the public as a cheater. The NFL can put out the goat narrative all they want, but they have to wait 20 years until there's a generation that only has heard of his accomplishments and not the asterisks. It's going to be quite a task for the PR team because, at best, they can only portray him as an unwitting accomplice to the many scandals of his team. Which is a risk as it contributes to his secondary view is as of a dumped ex-husband who chose an overextended career over his model wife and creepy mouth kisses with the kids. The truly sad part is that everyone who participated in the roast Kraft, Belichick, Gronk, etc felt that it truly wouldn't harm their already tainted reputation any more than cheating already has.

I’d ask him why he destroyed his cell phone. Then maybe, if we had time, I ask why so many TB12 users popped for performance enhancers. Then, maybe if I bought him an avocado ice cream, he’d tell me why the NFL destroyed the Spygate 1 tapes and why there wasn’t a list of teams found spied on in Spygate 2 and why only one person was fired despite an established team funded network of travel and filming. I’d ask if it felt odd at all to be such an outlier to be the literal only player to enjoy such success in their mid 40s and how odd it is that few people question it despite relying on a pharmacist who isn’t an actual doctor. Finally I’d ask him why his GOAT coach didn’t endorse him in any of the many scandals but especially surrounding deflategate. And if that factored into him seemingly leaving to spite him when the natural reaction would be to ride off into the sunset together. Add to that why his GM chose the coach over him. Then i’d ask for his autograph

It would be nice if loyalty, friendship, or the mythical hometown discount was something you could count on. But as JJ Watt, Hopkins, and innumerable other examples have shown: money is always the deciding factor.

Before it goes down the old road, Brady didn’t need WRs to win championships. He just needed a deflator, other teams playbooks, illegal substitutions/formations that weren’t illegal for them but made illegal the next season, video tapes of opponents practices, and TB12/doctor who wasn’t an actual doctor to provide supplements.

Miami gets an expensive head case and we get a cheap head case. Did we win the offseason?

Haven’t seen a fanbase fall for a guy this fast since Josh. His embedded video should come with a screen protector and a keyboard cover.

A lazy portmanteau for ?

At this point you have to wonder what they don’t like about Rice’s personality. Is he entitled or something?

At what point does 5th round pick = UDFA?

Goodbye Rice. It was nice to dream.

Considering that the defense always lets us down, I’d be fine with hammering only defense picks until we get one that can get one stop when it matters.

Just scrambled here to say the same thing. How many 5ths do we need?!

This team is exhausting

Y’all do realize that KC was going to trade for Worthy with the next teams after us, right? We weren’t going to take him. So we got marginally better picks.

Other teams are willing to make themselves look ridiculous, but we won't even try a 90s throwback once a year I guess to make it easier on the laundry staff. At this rate I wouldn't even mind the 2000s once just to break up the monotony of slightly different logo and color rush.

Joe Marino has talked me into Legette. McConkey sounds like something Shrek yells

I hear there’s nice livable parts, but not where I grew up.

Trade all our picks for a vet Wednesday night so we have nothing to watch Thursday