transient

In the soul-crushing event that Peterman starts again, this is my prediction: The score will be 6-2 Jets over Bills, however no one will actually win this game... literally. On the first offensive play from scrimmage the Jets' defense will pick off a Peterman pass and take it in for 6. The Jets will decide inexplicably to go for 2 and Tre White will pick off the attempt from McCown and return it for 2 the other way. In uncontrollable fits of hopelessness, dispair, and disgust, McDermott and Bowles will individually simultaneously decide to forgo the rest of the game, deciding instead to wave the white flag and walk off the field, sparing the few fans who bothered to show up or tune in the inevitable crapfest that would have undoubtedly followed. Because they come to this conclusion to forfeit simultaneously, no actual winner is declared as ultimately the league office, and the rest of the world in general, knows they're both losers and at this point no one really gives a **** anyway. I have considered that it IS possible that I'm being just a tad petulant and a bit overly-dramatic at the thought of Peterman possibly starting again, though...

Where else besides New Era Stadium can you drop a deuce in public, while the Bills follow suit on the field, and you never even have to leave your seat?

Uh... Beane? When your team is 2-7 I guess 3-5 looks pretty good? Jags not all that now that the AFC South is healthy this year...

Non-story. They’re just trying to put the part of Aaron Hernandez’s estate that was left to them to good use.

EJ may want to hold on to his earnings a little tighter, based on his own prospects it may be a while...

So if I started some random sports blog and my own public access radio show could I expect a press pass too? Wayne and Garth need to accept that no one takes them seriously anymore and as a result they get nothing.

"...Tim speculates that the poo could’ve been left over from the previous Monday, smuggled into the stadium by some fan to throw at the visiting Patriots as they entered or left the field." For as absolutely vile and disgusting as that possibility is, the worst part about it is it's an entirely plausible explanation... In just over half a season Bills fans reputation has gone from self-immolating, table-smashing, drunken neanderthals to rapidly-devolving, feces-throwing monkeys. YAY!! GO BILLS!! ??

Comined with a ShaWow it’s the best at getting blood out of carpet after a hooker SlapChops your tongue.

At long last we’ve found someone who can play center for Taro Tsujimoto.

Ok, but at this rate NP sacking Trubisky in the end zone twice is more likely than the Bills scoring two TDs.

Can’t be directly responsible for 10 points for the Bills as OP suggests unless he’s playing both ways and sacks Trubisky in the end zone twice.

Yeah, in re-reading your original post and my response, Nate Pete can’t directly be responsible for 10 Bills points... a pick 6 and two safeties can give the Bears 10, but not the Bills. Got me on the front end, though. If there’s a way NP could give the Bears 12 with a pick 6 and three safeties and prolong Bills fans’ anguish I’d buy that, though.

Seems like an even bigger nightmare than what we’ve been exposed to already, but I hear ya. Fair enough.

Peterman can’t be directly responsible for 10 points so I feel like this is rigged. FAKE NEWS!! FAKE NEWS!!

I think you misspelled dumbest...

Joke or not, being excited about watching Peterman start yet again is akin to taking some sick joy in seeing a rat getting repeatedly shocked in a Skinner box. End the ****ing experiment already... for his sake, his teammates’ sake, and the fans’ sake. He doesn’t belong in the NFL.

Not to mention he’d be lined up close to a tackle who wouldn’t have to yell as loud when giving him instructions on where to line up on every snap.

I don’t know, PTR. That’s giving an awful lot of credit to someone who hasn’t ever demonstrated the ability to even think once.

Worst case scenario... instead of ultimately being a meaningless football game somehow the fate of the world as we know it now rests on the Bills beating the Pats***.

How much would I pay? It depends on whether or not Kelly’s in blackface in the picture. Oh wait, my bad. Wrong Kelly.

Tre White wears his own bionic arm brace and proceeds to tear Gronkowski's left arm off at the shoulder and beat him senseless with it... ok, I realized after typing this that I can't use senseless as an endpoint if it's also the starting point, so maybe he beats him stupid wit... nope, that doesn't work either... how about he beats him savagely and mercilessly with it until Gronkowski taps out.

Thurman Thomas headwear... does it come with a guarantee that you'll misplace it at the most inopportune time?

4 hours? FYI, the furthest pedal to the right when you’re sitting in the driver’s seat of a motor vehicle is called the accelerator. If you push it down with your foot the car moves faster.

SWEET! Wonder how the Bills were able to pick up 4 WRs this late in the season. For the first 6 games they didn’t have any.