Johnny Hammersticks

I don’t even know if we’re doing our league this year. We were chatting in our league text chain, and the consensus seems to be that everyone wants to see what the “COVID NFL” is going to look like before we commit to anything. Will we need to allow for larger rosters? What happens if your starting QB tests positive and is out for 2 or more weeks? Some strange things can come into play.

I have this patented ?

To say I’m concerned about the starting pitching would be an understatement. Cole looked a little shaky last night, but quickly got his feet underneath him. After Cole, Tanaka is the only guy I have any confidence in and he’s getting up there in years. Happ, Montgomery, Paxton?? Yikes! I guess we’ll just have to average 8-10 runs per game to stay afloat ??‍♂️

Any marching band peeps out there? You guys had the sluttiest girls. Little known fact.

Did you retire from football at halftime? That’s the way to do it.

He gon woop hith ath...

What’s a varsity jacket? I went to high school in the late 90’s, bruh ??‍♂️ But I’m just playing around. I played every sport growing up. Made the varsity football team as a freshman and saw some time at DB. Gave it up after my freshman season. After that, I mainly smoked weed and chased tail. Played lacrosse. Meh...

NERDS!! ?

I’ve been sleeping until 10:00-10:30 every day. Especially on weekends. My eyes usually fly open at around 8:00-8:30 if I don’t have to wake up for work. I need to break that habit.

Nice! I knew it was a sports figure, but I thought it was a college basketball coach for some reason.

I peeped her FB profile. She’s got a face like Shrek, but a decent set of hammers and her body isn’t bad (as long as you don’t mind a little fluff). I’d say she’s a “ehhhhhh...probably if I was drunk” in the would ya spectrum. By her photos, it seems like she’s got a serious boyfriend/husband ?

Ummm...you specifically said “everyone” is born innately evil, and in spite of their environment can choose to not be evil. Soooo....by your definition an infant or toddler is born evil until they choose to not engage in “evil acts.” Which is it dude? You’re not making sense here.

I know that face! Dammit!

I’d be surprised if shooting stats were not elevated in most major cities. People are on the edge of the edge, man ??‍♂️

Some horrifying stories if you’re interested in looking this sicko. Here’s one ? https://allthatsinteresting.com/albert-fish Warning: Explicit and horrifying descriptions of his crimes against children.

I think you’re setting the bar for evil a little lower than the rest of us.

You believe everyone is innately evil, and that their environment (upbringing) is the ultimate mitigating factor?

https://www.biography.com/crime-figure/ed-gein When I was researching PhD programs, I had a fleeting interest in forensic psychology. Used to watch every serial killer documentary I could find. Ed Gein is one of the most disturbing and evil individuals I came across. Dude was freaking twisted. Major authoritarian mommy issues. Arthur Shawcross is one I heard about frequently growing up in central NY. I worked at a furniture store on Lyell Ave. that was a few doors down from the bar from which he abducted a lot of his prostitute victims.

7 days in Hell and Tour de Pharmacy are also very good Samberg movies. I believe they're both on Hulu now.

That’s it! We’re going to fight at the home opener tailgate! Waaaaaaa! ?

Cool. All I have left are no twitch fibers. Except for my right forearm. Loaded with quick twitch fibers ?

I thought the term “quick twitch” referred to a type of muscle fiber. Some athletes are so well conditioned (and genetically predisposed) such that they have more quick twitch muscle fibers than others. I could be wrong. I guess I’ve never heard someone say an athlete “needs to get their quick twitch up a little.” I understand what you’re getting at, I guess.

What? I’ve never heard this expression before. ??

I have two anuses.

You play Modern Warfare?