Johnny Hammersticks

Rain this morning ruined our plans for a hike. Binge watching Band of Brothers until LAX championship game at 1:00 on ESPN. Hoffman hots and snappy grillers for lunch.

Thinks "1st base" is sharing a hot pocket in the break room with a female co-worker. Thinks "2nd base" is an invitation to bible study at his church. Behind closed doors, with pleasure grunts muffled as to not alert his mother, has frequent vigorous sex with a fur glove named Doug.

Enjoys the scent of his own farts.

This is next on my list after I finish Shameless, which BTW, is pretty darn good.

Is the northeastern regional Vice President of NAMBLA.

^ Thought that I should use warm Vaseline to remove splattered egg from my car windshield when it was -65 F.

Just did some chicken quarters marinated in Dinasaur BBQ Mojito marinade (highly recommended). Grilled Rosemary corn, and a kale and spinach salad with toasted walnuts, goat cheese, and a homemade citrus/tarragon vinaigrette. Took the family out for ice cream, and put my daughter down to bed. Now I'm going to play Mario Cart on the Wii with my Son. What a great day! Beautiful weather.

Mead has a vintage collection of Boone Farms and Carlo Rossi in his wine cellar.

When you were a bank teller, the only flavors of lollipops you had were the crumby ones...butterscotch, pineapple, and beef gravy.

Taking the Hammersticks tribe on a hike at a nearby gorge, followed by BBQ ribs, grilled corn on the cob, and cole slaw. Down a few beers and watch DVR'd lacrosse nat'l championship game with my son.

I enjoy craft beers as much as the next Pooj, but after mowing the lawn on a hot summer day, give me a miller or coors lite.

I just watched the Mike and Mike segment with Erin and Jimbo. Wow, she is an impressive young lady with a very bright future. Jim just kind of sat there and listened to her speak, but you could see the pride in his eyes. I definitely will be getting a copy of this book.

Deadwood is very good. If you use Netflix, I recommend House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Peaky Blinders, and Blood Line.

Yeesh....I don't think there is much you can do now. Good luck in the first round of the playoffs. I'm not sure if it's close to you, but I have a friend who coaches at New Trier HS in the north suburbs of Chicago. I've seen his team play a few times, and was shocked at the level of lacrosse that is being played in Illinois. The team that I coach is a mix of football players, hockey players, and wrestlers. Most of them didn't even pick up a lacrosse stick until their freshman or sophomore year. We spent the entire first three weeks of practice doing conditioning and working on fundamentals (i.e., passing and catching, proper ground ball technique, dodging, shooting, and proper defensive technique). The key is designing your offensive and defensive schemes to capitalize on the strengths of your players. There are only a few players on my team with adequate stick skills, but a whole group of tremendous athletes who are aggressive and can run by people with the ball in their stick. When I started implementing my offense this year, I taught the kids a basic 2-3-1 triangle motion offense. I also drew up 4-5 plays to run out of that set. Well, I quickly learned that that scheme was too reliant on effective passing and catching. We would get the ball on offense, drop a pass, and the other team would quickly transition leaving our defense winded. The idea is ball/clock control for a team that is lacking stick skills. I switched to a very simple 2-2-2 offense, put my 2 best attackmen behind goal line extended, an attackman and middie on the crease, and the 2 best midfielders on each line up near the top of the restraining box. Essentially, this scheme is less reliant on passing and catching, and more reliant on a 2 man pick and roll game with dodging, shooting, and feeding the crease. We really try to slow it down and control the clock. It gives the defense rest, and sometimes lulls the opposing defense to sleep. Gradually, I have been introducing some simple plays to run out of the 2-2-2, and the kids are starting to pick up on it. Stick skills and athleticism are the name of the game in the sport of lacrosse. Most of my guys play wall ball for an hour after school, lift weights, and then meet the captains down on the field for shooting drills. We're not a great team (below .500 record), but we can play with most teams around here with the exception of the prep schools that recruit all over new england. Tell your kid and his friends to get on the wall every day this summer and focus especially on using their off-hand, go to lacrosse camps, and play in summer field/box leagues. The more you play the better you get. Sounds like the coach might be in a little over his head....

I was thinking this too. Sadly, Opie didn't last long enough to see this brawl

Yeah, he's a big phins fan. From Miami I believe. He also takes plenty of shots at the Pats and Jets....brutal to Tom Brady in particular.

Yeah, I decided not to trek down after the game today. Tough loss to a good team. Those Stanwick kids can play, and Hopkins' goalie was pretty solid. Almost a miraculous comeback at the end. BTW, why did Desko pull the goalie there near the end? I thought that was prematurely aggressive.

This would be a rare, but emphatic no for me.

Once this girl asked me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I stuck it in three times and punched her in the arm.

Who in the hell is their QB in waiting that makes Kaep expendable? Blaine Gabbert? Or are the just in tank mode? Weird. I'd give up a conditional 5th that could become a 4th for him.

Howard. I heard that when you get older your testicles get really long. Is this true? If so, how do you keep your flesh balloon under control?

My thoughts as well. Why?

Use Ben Gay as a lubricant.

Well, before!! You silly ass. Great minds think alike!

How about a sweet version with mascarpone, sliced peaches, brown sugar, and pecans? Boom!!