Johnny Hammersticks

My middle nut.

Well, I normally only sit to drop a deuce, but at night when I'm sleepy I will sit down to pee because it's more comfortable. Call me a fem...I don't care.

So you can relate? I try to be careful, but it usually happens during the night when I am sleepy or sometimes drunk. I forget.

Every once in a while, when sitting down on the toilet seat, I will sit right down on and squash one or more of my testicles. My wife came running yesterday when it happened, as she said she though one of the kids was hurting the dog (my pain squeal). Does anyone else have this problem? I don't view myself as having unusually large or long balls, but I think they may be slightly above average. Although it only happens 5 or 6 times per year, I notice it happening more frequently when it is humid outside and things unavoidably stick to my thighs. My friend and colleague just suggested I apply baby powder regularly; especially during the summer when it is hot and humid. Thoughts? Other helpful tips?

Can we reasonably expect him to make a comeback this season? What are the chances he even plays football ever again? I have not even heard any rough speculation from anyone at OBD. Have you?

I wish we would just get an honest prognosis for Henderson. I know. I know. He has a right to confidentiality regard his medical issues. It is just so frustrating though. He showed flashes of very good play when healthy. I don't think Mills is very good, and Cyrus is worse. Ay Caramba!!

All Canadians are friendly.

Gender re-assignment surgery?!

Back when I used to smoke weed, I bought an ounce of really good bud right at the Jamaican airport. Literally 15 yards past customs. It was $35 for like a pillow sized bag. What a country!

Love Jamaica. Been there three times myself. Where are you staying?

They should bring it back. With the voice of ALF being Gary Busey. Comedic gold...

Right now it's Mountain Dew Blockout and bold Chex mix.

I never F$&@ed a 10...but one night I f$&@ed five 2's!! George Carlin

I'm absolutely stoked! Phunck y'all.

That tweet was totally a joke.

Meandering, perhaps engaged in profound though, standing red buffalo. I may be in the minority here, but I find the charging buffalo to be hideous.

Not my thing, but I don't hate them. They have a couple tunes that I will listen to if they are played on the radio.

If Buffalo took a kicker in round 1 RWS would have been pillaged and burnt to the ground. Get real.

It's kind of like bungy jumping or attending a Donald Trump rally. The intense discomfort tricks the brain into thinking death is imminent, causing the brain to release endorphins and adrenaline. Really, it's a worse epidemic than heroin...thrill eating.

I think they will keep 3 on the final 53 man roster. I don't think Cardale would be safe on the practice squad. Whether it is this guy or not, I think they will keep bringing in guys until they find a good PS QB. Good to have the right guy learn the system in camp too.

Exxxactly... I actually brought him up as a good UDFA option in another thread, IIRC. He needs some polish, but the kid has an absolute cannon. He's a gamer too. I would love if we could stash him on the PS.

He throws it kinda side-arm style. Definitely unorthodox.

Sure.

Ewww....

Sounds like something that happened in Sharknado 3.