Johnny Hammersticks

This thread reminds me of some advice I was given by a man far wiser than JH. If you're not happy with your job, accuse your boss of sexual harassment. Then watch the severance package roll in.

Despite the small sample size, if you can't tell the difference between TT and Fitz/Trent, I don't know what can be done for you. Pay the freaking man!!!

I'd speculate that the combination of smoking weed and coming from low SES background is a more accurate predictor of being a loser. Level of education is also a factor. I know a lot of very successful potheads.

Looks like he came to his senses at the end there. Man, he dusted those cops though. What an idiot.

I quit weed for 6 years, and recently started puffing again occasionally. Probably once or twice a week. I use a vaporizer now which is much healthier. Makes doing yard work fun. Also, the byproduct of the vaporizer can be made into really potent pot brownies/cookies.

Enjoys viewing said camera footage online while he slaps the salami.

Used to lift things up and put them down. Now, he just prays for a solid bowel movement every day.

Sounds like someone has a man-crush?

Attends children's beauty pageants, but doesn't know any of the participants.

Plural? Huh. Uses dead, gutted squid to masterbate.

Has micro genitalia

To be fair, Gillislee's one start came against the Jets. The #2 ranked rush defense in the NFL. I saw enough from him during the regular season to opine that I would rather have him starting than Reggie Bush. As of now McCoy is healthy, Karlos will be back, and JWill will be out 2 games max (I think 1). I just don't think Reggie Bush would be a good acquisition.

His appearance frightens small children.

Is suspicious that his cat is plotting to kill him.

I'm not a teacher. They don't make schitt for money, and have horrible jobs where they basically get schitt on every day. I'm a psychologist who is employed as the director of student services (special education). Maybe you didn't know, Ryan. I'm kind of a big deal. This is really funny to me. Actually, there is likely demand out there for this sexual proclivity. I suspect in China and Japan.

Quite the ladies man. Takes all his best girls to Golden Corral.

Has a sandwich named after him at the local deli. It's called "The Stinky Landscaper that Makes our Female Patrons Uncomfortable."

I will make a point of it. An old college pal actually lives in Dover. Can't beat the prices on booze there either.

Insists I went to NH went I actually went to ME.

(*^*&%^$^#stoner

Lures hapless Pokemon nerds to his house, and then forces them eat his food and listen to Umphrey's McGee.

Gets frequent genital yeast infections.

Does anyone remember that pre-draft show on ESPN that highlighted several prospects as they worked out with Steve Mariucci? One episode was Aldon Smith and Dareus. I just remember Aldon acting like suck a punk, and he and Dareus were going back and forth at each other. What a waste of God given talent...

My prediction is that they will franchise him next year, draft a CB in the first or second round to groom, and then let him go after 2017. I believe Darby will be better in the long run, and will require a substantial deal after he plays out his rookie deal. I would love for them to extend Gilmore, but I just don't see it happening.

I was watching last night. When Buffalo was brought up as a possibility I cringed...waiting for the joke. I was pleasantly surprised with his response. Especially the comments about TT.