Johnny Hammersticks

Her eyes, nose and mouth are too close together. Her overly manicured eyebrows are freaky too. As a high school student, however, I would have laid down with just about anything.

Shower boy has been dead for over a year now, and the pro snowboarder sold the house and moved out to Cali to work on an organic farm. Now, our new neighbors are cross-fit instructors who lift weights in their front yard, and climb up and down ropes hanging from their tree. I can't decide which is worse...heroin addicts or cross-fit people. Petty's wife is obsessed with MC stuff? Small world...

We live in Vermont now, but we spend a couple weeks every summer in my home town, Auburn. She gets a lot of the stuff at the barn sale every year, but my Mother is also addicted and buys us MC stuff all the time. Again, WTF do I care about how the house is decorated? But the place has so much checker pattern going on, I'm about to open a gelato shop in the guest bedroom.

My wife read the Game of Thrones books. I did not. We're currently watching the series on HBO. She feels the need to point out to me every single difference between the show and the fuggin books. Bichesbecrazy

In theory, this team is built for games in inclement weather. In theory...

Roman's system or not, you'd think he would scratch those god awful wildcat plays out of the playbook. Or do they keep them in just to placate the QB Whisperer, David Lee?

I don't necessarily see this team as being talent deficient. They are lacking cohesiveness, and most importantly, leadership and intensity. If this team doesn't get amped up and play with some passion on "Pearl Day" we really have something to be worried about, IMO.

Oh, shut up.

Oh ****. You're not my wife are you?

Later, bro. See you five days after the super bowl to talk free-agency.

My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath. I'm only naming half the s$$t. I don't care about the money, and I couldn't care less about the way my house is decorated. I just think it's getting to be a bit much. The checkers are everywhere.

I hear ya, brotha. Imagine Thompson after 2 seasons in the Syracuse strength and conditioning program though. With his size and shooting ability...my oh my. I think he could potentially play the stretch 4 in the NBA.

We're not talking about things that make a man want to punt kittens or demand a divorce; like when your wife burns your bagel. We're talking about petty annoyances. Like a pet peeves thread for our women.

Gross.

Dareus has been an absolute beast since returning from his suspension. Now he's the problem?

The real freaks are the special ed teachers 😬

Yes. It's poor form to fire a HC within the last couple games of the season. He's either fired directly after the end of the regular season, or he's got another year.

Grrr...... So one of my responsibilities around the house is garbage and recyclables. I hang a "recyclables bag" from a hook at the top of the staircase leading down to the basement. Open the door, and boom...right there. Does my wife put them in the bag, you ask? No, she puts them on the counter LITERALLY two steps from the freaking basement door! This is cathartic 😏

This actually is a really exciting game to watch despite the boring offenses. Go Army!

"Hill is the fourth district employee this year to be accused of sexual misconduct with a student." Holy crap!

That's crazy! Tell her to stop at Sport Clips after her appointment. They give free edge-ups.

I think Thompson is going to be a star if he stays in school and develops properly.

I'm probably going to have to throw two pieces away without her noticing.

This thread is not about bashing women. We all (well I'm assuming most of us) love our wives dearly, and appreciate them very much. My wife is absolutely amazing. Loves me still despite me being an immature 17 year old trapped in a 38 year old's body. She is also the best Mother I could ever ask for to my 2 beautiful children. I am very happy and a lucky man. That said, my wife has certain "quirks" that drive me absolutely bonkers. Here's an example... Today we were all playing games in the play room. My daughter was playing with her dolls, giving them a spa treatment, and my son and I were playing Jenga. One of the "logs" from the Jenga game was missing, but it didn't affect the game. We were just fine. My wife's brain malfunctions when she learns about missing game pieces. I could see her eye twitch. It happens. When you have a 7 year old and a 3 year old...inevitable game pieces go missing. My wife couldn't handle it. She was so irritated about the missing Jenga piece that she spent 2 hours tearing apart the house looking for it. She then stormed up to the play room, having not found the piece, and scolded all of us for not being more careful with our belongings. We all just looked at each other, pretended to be sorry, and went back to playing. My wife stomps down the stairs, puts on her shoes and coat, and walks out the door. I hear her car backing out of the driveway. She comes back 20 minutes later with a new Jenga game. She just could not go on about her day knowing that there was an incomplete Jenga game in our home. That's just one example. I have plenty more. This is the place to share/vent about these things. I suppose girlfriend/fiancé stories belong here as well. Let's hear those stories....

I hope they all get their faces chewed off by their "pet" tigers just like what happened to that flamboyant magician. "That tiger didn't go crazy. That tiger went tiger!"