Johnny Hammersticks

It has been my experience that it is quite rare for starters to stay after practice and sign a bunch of autographs. A guy like Shady might stop to sign one or two, or take a quick picture, but then quickly into the locker room. You’ll have better luck getting autographs from rookies and/or lesser known guys. Also, you have to fight through a crowd of middle aged men, who seemingly are looking to get autographs to sell on eBay or something. I “had words” with a guy who kept nudging my 7 year old son to the side, so he could reach over top of him to get his “glossy photos” closer to Charles Clay, Preston Brown, and Tyrod. I’ve found that the best place to get autographs is on the fence just to the right of the large bleachers. Get there 10-15 minutes prior to the final horn, and stay right on the fence. It’s really hit or miss, but I’ve found that we’ve been more likely to get autographs at the night sessions. FWIW.

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Is 39 old?! I suppose you’re as old as you feel. I have pretty diverse tastes when it comes to music, and I do enjoy Skynard. Comparing Young and Skynard to me in a no-brainer though. Skynard=good, Young=great. Similar to actors or professional athletes, I don’t really give a crap about their politics. Do you?

In his defense, however, who hasn’t had to desperately rub one out in a Target parking lot?

Did they just say Iceland beats Argentina 1-1?! What the hell is that??

I believe there was a meeting at school when I shared this Dad joke with my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Vanallstein. Q: How come momma jack-o-lantern can’t have any babies? A: Because daddy jack-o-lantern has a hall-o-weenie.

Norwegian Wood and In My Life are two of my favorite Beatles tunes. I could play Rubber Soul on repeat. Maybe not the best, but my favorite.

If you can’t beat them on the field, beat them off.

Italy didn’t make it?! That’s like Canada not making the cut in hockey, right?

They all look the same ?

Neil Young. Not even close.

Gosh, this is a snooze fest. I wish Messi would go ahead and bite someone or something.

A newer one I came across last night. Jared Goff pranks a JUCO team by playing a transfer QB. He plays the role awesome...love when he asks the back-up QB if he is the punter ?

I just don't think she's a good singer. In my opinion, her "schtick" is the appeal here...not her actual singing ability. Not impressed. In fact, I find her act to be annoying.

Yeah, bad tooth to gum ratio.

Yes. Because every singer who goes viral on the internet has great talent.

How about if you come to work consistently sleep deprived, and also a little bit drunk still from the night before? Story of my life.

Looks like she could eat an apple through a picket fence. Yes, I would.

Don't you have to take the "s" off of the "https" or something like that? When I cut and paste on my iphone, it just automatically embeds to video...

Good one.

Should I be impressed? Seems like she just screams the lyrics. I guess she’s pretty good for 13. Also, why does her dancing remind me of the possessed girl from The Exorcist? She’s going to throw out a hip!

Peterman may be the week 1 starter, but they didn’t draft Allen #7 overall to sit him until 2020. Personally, I think Allen wins the job in preseason and is the week 1 starter.

I started working in a restaurant when I was 14, and did everything from dishwasher to front end manager. Worked in restaurants until age 30 when my son was born. A couple of quotes I remember that helped me learn the ropes: “You got time to lean, you got time to clean.” Never stand around when it’s slow. Fold napkins, shine silverware, sweep. Whatever. ”Get this f&$&ing order out of my window right now, or me and Rob (the sautée chef) are going to cut holes in your neck and bump d$&ks in the middle.” Chefs are crude, degenerate mofo’s in general, but it pays to stay on their good side. Make sure to get the food out of the window and onto the tables before it “dies” under the heat lamps. Also, when a chef/bartender is in the weeds (busy), don’t pester them. She doesn’t want to learn this lesson the hard way. Finally, there definitely something to be said for a server/busser being overly attentive. She’ll need to find happy medium between being properly attentive and being annoying.

Definitely NSFW Musician/DJ, Dan Deacon, recorded himself commenting while watching TV with the volume turned off. That audio was then synced to a CGI video of a lizard. People claimed he was on LSD while doing so, but he since has denied that. Randomly hilarious.

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