I started working in a restaurant when I was 14, and did everything from dishwasher to front end manager. Worked in restaurants until age 30 when my son was born. A couple of quotes I remember that helped me learn the ropes:
“You got time to lean, you got time to clean.”
Never stand around when it’s slow. Fold napkins, shine silverware, sweep. Whatever.
”Get this f&$&ing order out of my window right now, or me and Rob (the sautée chef) are going to cut holes in your neck and bump d$&ks in the middle.”
Chefs are crude, degenerate mofo’s in general, but it pays to stay on their good side. Make sure to get the food out of the window and onto the tables before it “dies” under the heat lamps.
Also, when a chef/bartender is in the weeds (busy), don’t pester them. She doesn’t want to learn this lesson the hard way.
Finally, there definitely something to be said for a server/busser being overly attentive. She’ll need to find happy medium between being properly attentive and being annoying.