Johnny Hammersticks

Anyway, I have another crazy movie story to share. Really, we very rarely go out to the movies anymore. Unless something “can’t miss” is out or we’re just completely bored (e.g., Super Troopers). A few weeks ago my bride and I were enjoying a baked brie with fresh rosemary and pine nuts, and a lovely Sauvignon Blanc. I got a text from a pal who wanted us to meet he and his boyfriend for a 9:30 showing of Tyler Perry’s Acrimony. I was feeling adventurous, so I convinced the wife to go. So we hopped in my Nissan Leaf and cruised down to the local cinema. Long story short...three guys sitting in front of us had smuggled in containers of chicken wings. Dozens of stinky, honey-garlic chicken wings! Who does that? How inconsiderate is that? Anyway, I’m not one to make a stink so I kept my mouth shut, but yeesh! The balls on some people.

Haha...good one. Especially the careful yet clumsy quip about how fortunate I am to be a literate African American man. No lion, but I do have a Husky-Corgi mix named Cricket at home. Are you going to any games this year? I’d love to meet you. Let me know. My schedule is very flexible. I’ll bring the maple syrup and choice craft beers. I know, right? Stupid kids.

That would have been a neat trick considering I holster a Glock 26 9mm wherever I go. Also, I’m kind of intimidating looking with all the face and neck tattoos. Not too many 6’4” black men in central Vermont like me.

P@$$y...

My wife and I went to the movies a few months ago to see Super Troopers 2. There were three 13-14 year old kids sitting two rows behind us (it was just them and us in the theater), and for the first 30-40 minutes they weren’t that bad. Just talking a little loud and screwing around on their phones. Well, about ten minutes later I saw a piece of popcorn fly over my shoulder. Then every few seconds another piece or two would fly over us or land on us. The kids were laughing. My wife and I both had a large soda plus a bottomless tub of popcorn with tons of butter. After a few more pieces of popcorn flew overhead I lost my ****. I didn’t say a word. I took the tops off both of the sodas and double fisted, turned around and threw the sodas in their faces. I then took the tub of popcorn and threw it on them. My wife and I walked out without a word. Had a good laugh in the parking lot.

My eyes!! ??

Marcel Dareus. When I purchased it (right after he was drafted) I expected to get a lot more use out of it. My wife has had the worst luck, as her last two have been Spiller and Watkins. My current jersey is Tyrod. I’m thinking I might spurge for a nice Thurman Thomas jersey that I will be able to wear forever.

She ain’t high on weed, bro. Drunk or retarded.

“Jordan!” with the tongue hanging out was popular on the b-ball courts when I was a kid. I wonder how many kids bit their tongues off doing this back in the day?

Silly me. I should have known. Cool pics/video, man.

That’s freaking awesome and hilarious!

? Are you the wrestler dude?!

Going to see Barefoot Truth today up at Killington. Free show. Several VT breweries will be represented including Long Trail, Fiddlehead, and Otter Creek. $5 drafts. Should be fun. The stage is located right at the bottom of a ski trail. Amazing scenery.

“Someone to sling it, and someone to bring it.” love it....

Dazed and Confused One Crazy Summer American Graffiti Caddy Shack Jaws Weekend at Bernies

His crazy what?

Yes. Provided there is a team of armed guards observing. That would ensure my safety, and also fulfill my exhibitionistic fantasies.

Probably something by either Nirvana or Pearl Jam.

And by the laws of classical conditioning, this horse will never, ever blink it’s eyes again.

I just looked up some of her hard core stuff. Her vagina looks like she gave birth to a cactus. Jeepers...

Looks like the bad old lady from The Goonies if she got smacked in the face 7 or 8 times with a piece of heavy mining equipment.

In spite of the absolute abortion that is the OP, this thread is actually pretty entertaining. Bravo, TBD.

....but I thought every carbonated beverage in Texas was referred to as Coke...??

Definitely Saving Private Ryan. The Burbs is one of his comedies that I really like.

I was reluctant to click on that link, but I’m glad I did. Not a gruesome as I thought it might be. They should force Ms. Progeria to sift through her own doodie until she passes the woman’s nose, and then sow that puppie back on!!