Johnny Hammersticks

My wife bought me a small home-brew kit a couple years ago for Christmas. It still sits on a shelf in my basement. Perhaps I will dig it out and give it a try? I believe it has the “makings” for an IPA and a blonde ale.

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!!!!!

Dang! I just logged in to start another Josh Allen contract thread! Can never have too many....

Thanks.

You been seeing rumors? Where?

Simple. When the robot lady asks you about the purpose of your call say “cancel service.” That will get you directly to customer retention. Be kind and respectful (can’t hurt to come up with some sort of sob story), and you will typically get discounts equivalent to the cost of ST and a little more.

I guess this spending spree was aided by hitting on a franchise QB in the draft. They’re pushing all their chips in for a championship in the next 2-3 years.

We had a young female ISS (in school suspension) “teacher” who was having sex with a bunch of guys in my high school. She was gone suddenly after my junior year. Not sure if she got caught or not, but nothing ever hit the news. She was not that attractive. I graduated in ‘97.

This stood out to me also. Has Katt Williams ever even been in a movie or TV show? I guess he was on that Wild and Out show on MTV.

Yeah, it would really suck being a multi-millionaire, future hall of fame NFL quarterback. Having a supermodel wife would really be terrible also. Get real dude...

Agree with your assessment of Silicon Valley. I’m just finishing season 4, and while it’s still funny I feel like the series has gone on too long. I also really like the Asian character. His prank calls to Eurlich were hilarious, and also the episode where he volunteered to pay for his trip to Tibet and dropped him off at the airport. Really funny stuff. I recently say him (Jimmy O. Yang) on an episode of Drunk History and he was pretty good. Almost seemed like he had a NYC accent which was weird to hear.

Cheers, my cheese eating friend. He’s just not that into you. Move on. You seem like a nice guy. I’m sure you have no trouble making friends. Chin up...

Hahahahahahaha! I enjoy myself. Love you Gugs ?

Anyway, I have another crazy movie story to share. Really, we very rarely go out to the movies anymore. Unless something “can’t miss” is out or we’re just completely bored (e.g., Super Troopers). A few weeks ago my bride and I were enjoying a baked brie with fresh rosemary and pine nuts, and a lovely Sauvignon Blanc. I got a text from a pal who wanted us to meet he and his boyfriend for a 9:30 showing of Tyler Perry’s Acrimony. I was feeling adventurous, so I convinced the wife to go. So we hopped in my Nissan Leaf and cruised down to the local cinema. Long story short...three guys sitting in front of us had smuggled in containers of chicken wings. Dozens of stinky, honey-garlic chicken wings! Who does that? How inconsiderate is that? Anyway, I’m not one to make a stink so I kept my mouth shut, but yeesh! The balls on some people.

Haha...good one. Especially the careful yet clumsy quip about how fortunate I am to be a literate African American man. No lion, but I do have a Husky-Corgi mix named Cricket at home. Are you going to any games this year? I’d love to meet you. Let me know. My schedule is very flexible. I’ll bring the maple syrup and choice craft beers. I know, right? Stupid kids.

That would have been a neat trick considering I holster a Glock 26 9mm wherever I go. Also, I’m kind of intimidating looking with all the face and neck tattoos. Not too many 6’4” black men in central Vermont like me.

P@$$y...

My wife and I went to the movies a few months ago to see Super Troopers 2. There were three 13-14 year old kids sitting two rows behind us (it was just them and us in the theater), and for the first 30-40 minutes they weren’t that bad. Just talking a little loud and screwing around on their phones. Well, about ten minutes later I saw a piece of popcorn fly over my shoulder. Then every few seconds another piece or two would fly over us or land on us. The kids were laughing. My wife and I both had a large soda plus a bottomless tub of popcorn with tons of butter. After a few more pieces of popcorn flew overhead I lost my ****. I didn’t say a word. I took the tops off both of the sodas and double fisted, turned around and threw the sodas in their faces. I then took the tub of popcorn and threw it on them. My wife and I walked out without a word. Had a good laugh in the parking lot.

My eyes!! ??

Marcel Dareus. When I purchased it (right after he was drafted) I expected to get a lot more use out of it. My wife has had the worst luck, as her last two have been Spiller and Watkins. My current jersey is Tyrod. I’m thinking I might spurge for a nice Thurman Thomas jersey that I will be able to wear forever.

She ain’t high on weed, bro. Drunk or retarded.

“Jordan!” with the tongue hanging out was popular on the b-ball courts when I was a kid. I wonder how many kids bit their tongues off doing this back in the day?

Silly me. I should have known. Cool pics/video, man.

That’s freaking awesome and hilarious!

? Are you the wrestler dude?!