Johnny Hammersticks

Do you give out dental floss to kids on Halloween? You’re about as fun as a sandpaper dildo. Interesting.

Down the creaky basement stairs Bob crept, as faint whimpers of pain could be heard coming from the darkness.

Hello captain obvious. Do you think Dean would Tweet about typical personnel moves that happen near the roster cut deadline? Asking for a friend.

I....hadn’t thought about that.

Does he maybe know something? Very unlike Dean to tweet something like this ?

The server would literally have to drop their pants at my table and fart directly into my dinner.

He sauntered through the living room, barely acknowledging his sickly cat as he passed, and headed straight to the basement which concealed his darkest secret.

Which, was weerd, because Casey Anthony, wuz a rely, bad righter irregardless.

Holy ****!! Must have been texting and driving.

Consequently, he had to stop at the Jiffy Lube, where much to his surprise, Casey Anthony (wearing a phony mustache) greated him as he rolled down his window.

Having been a server, the only thing worse than getting a ****ty tip, is having some !@#$ tell you why you got the ****ty tip ?

After saying his goodbyes, he climbed into his vehicle packed with all his earthly possessions, and headed west on a quest to seek out his true calling in life.

NSFW If you are a true Syracuse hoops fan, this “rant” by Jim Boeheim supporting G-Mac makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. I watch it before almost every Cuse game. Gets me jacked up.

Very sad, but very motivational as well, IMO.

While doing a stint with Greenpeace in 2004, I was helping to build a bridge with some poor villagers in Uganda. When we got back to the village to have a meal with the chief in his mud hut, I noticed that all the kids were running around in Buffalo Bills 1993 Super Bowl champions t-shirts. Who knew? I started to recite the shout song, but they all looked at me like I was crazy. Bills fans everywhere....

Six weeks later, on a dreary day, Bob stood alone at the foot of his dead teacher’s grave reflecting on his life choices.

How much do you tip your lady-boy prostitutes ??

The server would have to be blatantly rude to me to get no tip (which thankfully has never happened). For bad service, I will always leave a tip and then just never return to the restaurant.

What a great first show! My first and only was 1993 at Rich Stadium. I think I was 14 years old. My brother allowed me to tag along with he and his friends. That was an eye opening experience for me. ?

Yes. That was the former Red Wings Stadium. DSO plays a lot of smaller venues. They have a faithful following, but they aren’t the type of band that’s going to sell out an arena as the main act. I most recently saw them at a place very similar to Water Street Music Hall. Maybe 150 people. I don’t know the answer to your second question.

I’ve been seeing this on Twitter as well. So maybe the hamstring thing has been a bit overblown?

I wonder if he’ll pass his physical with the hammy he’s been dealing with this summer? Anyone know how he has looked this offseason? Has he been limited by the hammy?

Unfortunately, his teacher had long suffered from debilitating Bovinaphobia, so she jumped out of the window screaming and landed on a statue of Billy Graham holding a fishing pole.

Agree with just about everything you say here, but there is a lot of information missing from this article in order to form a solid opinion.

Being raised by good, god fearing Christians, Bob felt compelled to defend the bullied and proceeded to scissor kick Kelvin Benjamin in the forehead.