Johnny Hammersticks

He talked about this once in an interview with Howard Stern. Pretty funny. Murray gives zero *****.

My Mom was cheering for the KD injury for at least 15 minutes. Was it before or after that?

Did Toronto touch your balls when you didn’t want them to?

Okay, so IMO, all 3 new Black Mirror episodes sucked a fat one. Anyone else watch these yet? It’s almost as if they didn’t even try...

Agreed. “Risk of aggression” is much different than “risk of being horribly disfigured or dead.” A chihuahua might be 50x more aggressive than a pit bull, but I’d take a chihuahua attack 100 times out of 100 over a pit bull attack.

Yes, but you understand the overarching point, correct?

If Josh Allen was a dog, what type of a dog would he be? ?

Yeah, I don’t think they have a high motor, and their first step isn’t quick. Probably not “long” enough to be an edge rusher, and arms much too short. I could see RB though. I was going to say C.J. Anderson.

What position would a Pit Bull play if they could play football? I would say edge rusher or strong safety. Thoughts?

Are you suggesting we install air bags on all pit bulls that will deploy if they snap on a toddler?

That’s called an “upper decker.”

Yeah, but those 297 are some bad hombres!! Probably MS-13. Here’s one for you Teddy my man. Let’s say you had a young child. Five year old Teddy Jr. Of course Teddy Jr admires his father, so for Christmas he asks for a sweet new toy lawnmower made by Fisher Price. Well, the good people of Fisher Price announce that they manufactured 5 million new toy lawnmowers for the holiday season, but 297 of them are faulty and will eat your child’s face off. Tell me. Do you take the risk and buy Teddy Jr the toy lawnmower anyway?

Oh good lord....?

I kinda like how Gus roams around the neighborhood. Everyone knows him, and he seems to know better to go into the yards that have dogs in them. Sometimes I’ll be doing yard work and he’ll just come lay near me and “visit.” He’s a cool cat, but he’s also nothing to be trifled with...

I like making bacon wrapped chicken breasts. Just wrap em in bacon and bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes until bacon is crispy. Sauté up some garlic mushrooms and sweet sassy molassy!! Side of steamed asparagus. Bacon keeps the chicken moist and flavorful. My wife puts this balsamic reduction sauce on it. So easy, quick and delicious.

The first new episode of Black Mirror was just dumb. Miley Cyrus is gross. Just bad....

The latter....peurto ricans don’t wear sweatpant.

How competitive? I once broke a puero rican dude’s leg for sweatpant money.

How do people feel about cats? I went to pet the neighbor’s cat, Gus, this morning and he scratched my wrist! Crazy bastard! I’ve been waiting for him to lose it.

Is this the guy the brought in to wrestle Greggo?

I was waiting for grandma to drop the people’s elbow on one of those *****!

I’ve probably done worse than sharing a bed with poopie foot.

What might be more disgusting is my buddy visiting from home hooked up with her....and he knew...and didn’t care ?

Not a huge donut guy, but every year when we go apple picking the orchard makes fresh apple cider donuts. Right out of the fryer and into a paper bag. There is a line for about a half a mile. I can easily eat a dozen by myself with a half gallon of apple cider.

Female exchange student in college from India would poop in the shower and smoosh it down the drain with her foot. The girls caught her doing it after an investigation. True story. Apparently, it is a thing they do there.