Here’s my list I always send to my wife when she goes away:
1. Don’t call me more than one time per day. I don’t need to talk to you more than that.
2. Make sure and get really drunk, and if you do, sleep by the toilet. We don’t need to pay extra cleaning charges to your hotel.
3. Please don’t text me every 5 seconds to let me know what you’re doing. I don’t care.
4. Make sure and wear some cleavage-tastic outfits. You spend so much money on fancy clothes, and we rarely go out, so let the girls breathe a little bit.
5. Always take a free drink from a guy. Again, save us money.
6. If you end up sleeping with another guy, make sure he’s a keeper and makes good money!!
Love ya!!!