Johnny Hammersticks

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvDiTjUxNTP/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 🤔🤔🤔

My mailman has seen me naked at least 4 times. You see, after I mow the lawn I strip down and throw my sweaty clothes in the washer. Then I walk upstairs to the shower passing the front door on my way through the foyer and up the staircase. Sometimes he’s just there. I’m beginning to think he times it out so he can catch a glimpse. Worst part is the eye contact. Very uncomfortable.

Sick bastard…

We have a really nice public pool in Middlebury. It has diving boards, water slides, and actual rock climbing walls that hang over the deep end. My kids love it. Although there are so many awesome lakes, waterfalls and other swimming spots that we only go there a few times a summer.

I ***** like 6 times a day and I still can’t spell vacashun.

How did we go from imploding submersibles to slavery? 🤔

Not sure. One of the benefits of our arrangement is that my wife chose the guest bedroom which has a queen sized bed. I stayed in the master bedroom which has a Cali-King sized bed. I can’t remember the brand, but it was like $4000 when we bought it 10 years ago. Like sleeping on a cloud.

But, but…there was slavery in the north as well!! So it’s literally the same as South Carolina and Georgia. 😏 I went to the slave market when the wife and I stayed in Charleston for a week. It was kind of like a farmer’s market with crafts and such. It was a bit chilling, but overall a very important experience to me being a black man. Charleston is such a beautiful city, btw.

Trust me. I wasn’t liking the way I way playing either. 😆

My wife was wearing ear plugs, and eye mask, and sometimes noise cancelling head phones. A mouse farting in the next room could wake her up. I was always fine with her snoring provided I could fall asleep prior to her really getting revved up. My only issue was when I would wake up to take a leak or something. I couldn’t get back to sleep.

Yes, both of us have had sleep apnea studies done. The results were negative for both of us, but my amount of “breathing disturbances” was at the higher end of the average range. I suppose I should have another done, but I didn’t snore as much (according to my wife) after losing over 35 pounds this winter/spring. This is funny. We haven’t had any problems arranging rendezvouses for some bedroom fun.

My wife and I have a wonderful marriage and two great kids. There have been minor bumps in the road, of course, but overall we have been very happily married for over 13 years. Over the years we have had problems sharing a bed. I snore and my wife also snores like a lumberjack, but she’s a light sleeper and I could sleep through a dump truck crashing into our living room. After years of her pounding on the mattress to wake me up, or one of us sleeping in the guest bedroom, we decided finally that we would just sleep in different rooms. It has worked out very well, although I do miss having her next to me at night and waking up next to her in the morning. Then I was watching the news the other day and it turns out that this “sleep divorce” thing is a trend. Like I said, it is working well for us, but I could see how it could lead to relationship problems for some. Has anyone else taken this step in their relationship? Thoughts?

Most of my friends are really good at golf. Two of them actually have/had their PGA tour card at one point. I always get stuck playing with them for bachelor party trips, class reunions, and other events. I enjoy the game, but I’m absolutely horrible. I had a really bad experience playing at Ravenwood in Rochester a few years back. I was just taking too long, and eventually the course ranger came along and told me that I couldn’t play anymore. Even though we were letting faster groups play through, I guess a lot of people were complaining. I sat in the golf cart and drank beers while my friends finished the round, but it was a real bummer. They refunded my money when I got back to the pro shop, but I haven’t played since. I do like me some putt-putt though.

She is so damned sexy. Her accent makes her even hotter. I’d drink her bath water.

Not even with @Gugny’s junk and @LeviF pushing.

PBR in a bottle (if you can find it) is amazing. I feel like I’m able to find cases of it whenever I’m down on the Cape.

Since we recently “cut the cord” and are streaming everything through Amazon Firesticks, we upgraded all 3 that we have in the house. I think they were like $23 each for the newest ones.

Woof! Yeah, there’s not enough beer in Milwaukee for that. 👎

I’d get it Snoopy style and buy her a fish sandwich.

Nothing like muscle-bound, oiled up men wrestling to a script to get the blood pumping, eh?! Eh? I hope fun was had by all. 😘

Better to be a warrior in the garden than a gardener in the midst of battle.

You little gossip ***** 💅

Considering he started 14 games last season for NO, and barring injury, will not start a single game for CAR this season. Yeah, it’s BOLD as hell brah!

Andy Dalton will throw for 2500 yards.

Benson reminds me of Pat Kane. He might be the best prospect in the system right now. 😬😮