Johnny Hammersticks

“I don’t like horses. I can’t ride.” ?

Deep frying a turkey is nothing to be afraid of if you’re not a moron. 1. Don’t use too much oil. IIRC, the last time I did one I used about 4 or 5 gallons of peanut oil. My turkey fryer “pot” has a fill mark that makes this easy. Bought it at Bass Pro. 2. Keep your fryer set up on a stable surface and far away from any structures. Keep the kids inside while you’re doing it. 3. Of course, make sure the turkey is completely thawed and dry. Water + hot oil= YouTube video. 4. Make sure you use a thermometer to maintain the oil temp at around 350. It’s really not that hard. I’ve never done the seasoning rubs or injections, so I can’t speak to that. I typically just season liberally with kosher salt and pepper. Enjoy!! You’ll be fine.

No.

Zay was so bad in Oakland they sent him back. Left him in a basket on the doorstep of OBD.

Reason number 2 not to live in India. Reason number 1 is they poop in the shower there and smoosh it down the drain with their feet.

I recently went to Autozone to purchase a new battery. Not only did the gentleman install it for free (I threw him a saw buck afterward), he gave me a nice shoulder massage before closing the hood and sending me on my way. It must be your face....

My cousin Eddie at a night crawler for 20 bucks!

I appreciate and enjoy you @CowgirlsFan!!

I wish Teef was my dentist ?

Great opportunity for this joke. Was actually told to me by my dentist. Q: What’s the difference jam and jelly? A: You can’t jelly your **** into you girlfriend’s mouth.

Dang better have! I just went out and spent $2300 on humidifiers for every room of the house! Gotta weigh down those bacteria and viruses!! Keep em on the hard wood floors.

Perhaps Edwards could conveniently injure his hand? ? I’m seeing a lot of “buzz” on Twitter speculating that Bras is hurt. IDK...

Offense look pretty darn good. I think today (granted Bucknell ?) was the highest 1st half point total since like 2013 or something? I love the pace at which they like to play, and Hughes can put it on the deck now? Wow...look for him to enter the draft after this season. JG3 will be our starting PG for the next 4 years, and Buddy our starting SG for the next three. Beautiful. Jesse Edwards would be a good redshirt candidate, IMO. Most polished offensive skills for a C since maybe Melo? He is waaaaay too slight of frame though. His defense is awful because he gets absolutely man handled out there. What’s up with Braswell? Injured?

Got some raspberry-habanero jam at the farmers market today. I tasted it and it’s really good. Not too much heat. I think I might try it with cream cheese on toast.

Ha! My wife is an Aussie. I can’t even smell that stuff without dry gagging. My sister in law eats toast with Vegemite and Miracle Whip ??

Jay-Zit??!! Is that you?! I played 7th/8th grade lacrosse with a really fast kid we called “wheels.” Better known as “Jay-Zit” later in life when he developed bad acne. Kids are mean....

My Father has always called me Bonehead. Even to this day. He now shortens it to “Bone.” I can’t remember the last time my dad called me by my first name ?

Wait, living in the slums improves your immune system? Why didn’t you suggest I come stay with you in my cold remedies thread? Bad friend.....

Who are Billy and Joel? They like almond butter too?

Exactly!

Almond butter and raspberry jam. Peanut butter is for peasants.

Interestingly convenient indeed. Think Carey would still be starting if his hand were not injured?

Seriously, it’s only an hour or two from Miami to Boca.

Too much porn. Your iPhone has AIDS.

Did you pee in your pants a little bit as you posted this?