Delete This Account

so you agree that i've won. why thank you. this post shall be duly noted. jw

hater. jw

i'm sorry, i don't recall any of that. i've heard, though, alcohol kills brain cells ... ooops. jw

puh-leeze. dedication denied. jw

ok, this was as far as i got in this thread. and Bud makes a good point. however the one overlooked error in all of this was: when you're in the position to win a major, and walking up to the 18th tee, the one thing you should do is NOT HIT the ball so far off the fairway and into a large crowd that you don't know where in god's green earth you just might be standing. i think the actual golfer requires some blame for mis-hitting (and i use that term politely because in my case, that's regarded as not a bad shot ) his tee shot. jw

i have no time to check your links. they've become passe and likely infected with an assortment of viruses. otherwise, i think i've won here. jw

oh, good god. Schobel did not want to be released. he was not demanding to be cut. he was not looking for his contract to be matched elsewhere. this wasn't about money. and the bills did not wait him out (and there's a difference here, because they waited as long as they could for Aaron to make up his mind, before they elected to move on). and as it turns out, he finally made up his mind. why do the conspiracy theorists out there believe that there's something nefarious that went on here? Aaron was not Jason Peters. he was not Marshawn Lynch. he was simply being himself, a person who was conflicted with a decision and unable to make up his mind. jw

since when does the exception make the rule? schobel is retiring a year after he said he was fully considering doing so. jw

c'mon, really? he wasn't tradeable because he didn't know if he was going to play. and, as it turns out, he's not playing. never mind the fact that he wasn't tradeable back then, given the makeup of his contract and his state of mind, whatever trade you think might have materialized in april would, at this point be void. why? he's retiring. it's that simple. why must this dead -- actually not dead but, rather phantom -- horse continue to be flogged. jw

ok, which is it: a year or 2 hiatus? i mean, i can understand a day or two, or a week to 10 days or so, but not knowing if you've been gone for a year or two leaves quite a gap that's open to questions and speculation. in fact, your profile shows that you ONLY joined two years ago. so what, you made 1,000 posts in a day or two and then went on hiatus? this is all so very puzzling. jw

ah, you're just jealous i came up with a better name by calling it the "howlitzer." ... jw

it was my wife, who had gotten back to where she was and was sorting through the bags that i had helped her carry to her car. the keys, as it turned out, had fallen into one of them. funny, how life works. that's how i saved $1,000. and i still blame the neighbor. jw

sir/madam: with all due respect, since you've published this story on the intrawebs, and there are those who have read it, it would be fully and completely impossible to put my name on this and collect the howlitzer. that would be wrong and unprofessional. thanks, however, for the offer. lord knows i need all the help i can get. i do suggest that you make an attempt to pedal this piece to other publications: for some reason "Hustler" and "High Times" come to mind. if those don't bite, work your way down the chain, Barron's, Esquire, Time, Sports Illustrated (though i'd suggest you not drop my name to petey king) etc. jw

thanks. just updated the fuller version that's moved. jw

This story just moved, and an updated fuller version is coming. More tests required on Jackson's "bone injury" jw

still unsure, and late for work, i jumped in the shower and, afterward, had just finished ironing a couple of shirts, when the phone rang. jw

it's at this point when i explained to my wife what had happened. so she, like people do, went outside and retraced the exact same steps i had been retracing for the past hour. of course, this was to no avail. and yet, this is what people do. it was at this point, i provided her my theory as to what happened, blaming the neighbor, and accusing him of creating this distraction. she said, "stop it right there. i'm not hearing any more of that." she's a kind person, and has far more patience for people than i do, and will not hear them disparaged. "harumph!" i said, following her back in the house. "so, what am i going to do?" i asked her, referring to whether to fork out the $1,000 to have the locks changed, or take a gamble and not do anything, hope that the keys went down a sewer; someone picked them up and elected to throw them away themselves; or that the keys are somehow lost in our house. well, what would you do? jw

resigned to the fact that the key and fob were lost, or someone had found them, and that whomever might have found them now had full access to my car, i called the local acura dealership to find out what my options were. while on hold, my wife came home, because she had forgotten a few things, and she asked what i was doing on the phone. i was in the process of explaining what had happened, when the guy at the service desk finally came on. to replace the key and fob, it would cost something like $150. "no, no, no," i said. "i don't want to just replace them. i'll likely need to have the locks and ignition changed on my car to make it secure again." "oh," the service guy said, surprised (evidently, he didn't want any business). "well, that's really going to cost you. it's like $600 to replace the key ignition alone. and that doesn't include the door locks and getting new keys and fobs." "ouch," i said, and informed him this would have to be something i'd have to think about. i hung up and swore up a s*@%storm. ... jw

i immediately began retracing my steps and keeping a close eye to the ground. nothing in the foyer. nothing on the table where i leave all my stuff. nothing in the entry-way or on the porch. i was walking across the front lawn to my car when i recalled how my neighbor, a big-talker, had cornered me the minute i got out of my car to update me on the latest gripping installment of his life. he's got a job. and i wondered if in all the small-talk chatter, and with me lugging two big bags, that maybe, just maybe the key and fob thing had fallen on the street or on my lawn without me noticing it because i was otherwise engaged (read: trying to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible). nothing. i checked the street, re-checked the inside of my trunk, and even poked through our garden to see if maybe they had bounced off a stair and over the side. this wasn't good. and i was beginning to get angry at the neighbor for distracting me because, after all, someone had to take the blame, and it sure wasn't gonna be me. ... jw

so, i was helping my wife carry a bunch of bags full of crafts to the car this morning for some youth camp she's putting on, when i noticed that my car key as well the security fob-dealio was not on my key chain. "ah, probably slipped off in the pocket of my shorts yesterday, after i got back from training camp," i figured. "no big deal." so i bid my wife a good day and went upstairs to check my shorts' pockets, only to discover the key and fob thing weren't there. "hmmmm," i said, and began to worry. jw

true story: how my wife helped me save $1,000 ... jw (to be continued)

can't say i was waiting for this. hate to admit i actually read most of it. not sure if i was amused or perplexed, but will say that i disavow myself from it entirely. thanks, crayonz, i think? jw

what are you saying? no one's previously cashed in on your tidbit? wouldn't that make you a virgin (so to speak, of course )? jw

i'll have to check into the Whitner contract. i do know it's formally listed as running through 2011. the voidable part is what i can't recall as to which party controls that. jw ADD: even if it is voidable on Donte's part, i'd expect him to stay patient given the uncertain CBA climate ahead.

i thought so too, in regards to his contract, but it's not. he's got one more year after this season. jw