Wacka

It's been shown that Windows runs FASTER on a Mac than it does on a PC. OSX can't even run on a PC.

Can you play the fiddle?

They missed his film debut in Animal House (1978). He was so green he did it for scale and he didn't know what scale meant.

I thought he was a latex importer-exporter.

Well the circus is over. It had elephants, courtesy of Ringling Brothers and clowns named Jesse and Al.

Want to play games, buy a Wii. Want to do work, buy a Mac.

Janet was drunk, Mary Ann was stoned

The national health care plan will cost zero because the old people who use most of it will die off from lack of care.

Since all these travel posts are appearing, I'd thought I'd make it more local.

Besides, if you are running for president or VP, you should resign your elected post. Obama, Liberman and John Friggin Kerryshould have, You are not representing your constituents as you should if you are out on the campaign trail.

` You must read this link and go to the second page. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

Al Franken's Best work- Baggage Handler #1 in Trading Places.

Wetlands are whatever the DEC says they are- if you pay them off, its not a wetland.

He did it in the office. If he did it upstairs in the private quarters in the evening, that's different. Go and screw one of your employees in your office and have the boss find out- see how long you last. Democrats can murder someone (Ted Kennedy), rape someone (Slick Willie - Juanita Broderick (remember"Put some ice on it?) or be an officer in a racist organization (Robert KKK Byrd ) and nothing happens.

Then why didn't you want Bubba to quit? He had sex in the office during office hours. Sexual harassment.

Amhet, Dweezil, and Moon Unit. Amhet went by the name of Bob (I think) in HS because in elementary school, they called him "Ahmet Vomit".

Wait until that runt flies off the handle in the Senate. A few people have come close to getting restraining orders against him.

Sorry a-hole. It's new to me.

Got this joke from a friend: When Farrah Fawcett died, her soul was greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. Saint Peter looks at her book of life, and says well Farrah you led a pretty good life. Helped the needy, and were strong, and compassionate. So before you pass the pearly gates into heaven, you are allowed one wish for something good. Farrah says, well I would like all the children of the world to be safe. A couple hours later Michael Jackson was dead

Congratulations!!

To quote a former president "Put some ice on it."

Move to Mountain View (Home of Google)- Free city-wide WiFi

An example- My town has been building a reserve fund into the budget. They found that the community center, built in the late 60s-early 70s had extensive mold damage. They found out it would cost only $500,00 more to build a new building rather than repairing. Did it without raising any taxes at all.

Molecular Biology- Thesis was on the DNA replication pattern of a group of Baker's yeast genes. I developed a method to map which way the replication fork on a stretch of DNA was moving. Yeast have specific DNA replication origins. Later, another lab , using my method showed that in human cells, the DNA replication origins are non-specific. They found DNA replication forks moving in both directions.

OMG!!!!!!!