Having lost someone who was very dear to me I understand where you are coming from. The day Danny passed forever changed my life, things will never be the same...life is less joyful, and I can't imagine it getting better. But I have come to the understanding that this was part of a plan and not some random event...your wife lives on and is with you, she's not really gone. I know this doesn't lessen the hurt, and it doesn't stop you from thinking of her constantly...but you still do have a reason for being here...and it' not to just feel pain. You will never lessen the pain with pills or booze, it'll just perpetuate it. Try to find meaning in everyday things, appreciate this life we have, you will see her again. Feel free to PM me, I have things to share that will make you at least consider that we never really lose our loved ones.