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Barack Obama

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Everything posted by Barack Obama

  1. Barack Obama
    Milka-wha?
  2. Barack Obama
    The Rainbow Farting Unicorns are being gassed up as we speak. The Unicorns should have been ready long ago but we tried to replace the gasoline with Sunshine from Solyndra solar panels.
  3. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. This is indeed a tragedy. But it is also an opportunity for further gun regulations. There is no excuse why this young man should have such ready access to firearms on an Army base in a war zone. There were children around.
  4. Barack Obama
    I was going to blame George Bush
  5. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. We have the technology. They do not. Spread the wealth.
  6. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. If we eliminate the health care lobby, that will also eliminate hundreds of thousands of millions jobs. Just think of all those poor unemployed lawyers.
  7. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. If this warning system had been in place the emergency of which you speak may have been averted. We wanted to issue an Amber Alert but were informed those were only for children. We were also told that we had to wait 24 hours before reporting the teleprompter as missing. 24 hours? Do you know how many speeches I make during that time?
  8. Barack Obama
    My felow Americans. Let me be clear. This is a test. This was only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, the instruction to dance would have been replaced with an explanation as to how this emergency is George W Bush's fault. Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America
  9. Barack Obama
    Yes We Can!
  10. Barack Obama
    Yes We Can!
  11. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear While many of you may may view zombies as an undead horde, the more enlightened among us will understand that they are in fact an emerging voting bloc. Brains we can believe in!
  12. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear If the Federal Government had not spent $100 on a project, we would not have been able to collect $1 of taxes
  13. Barack Obama
    Yes We Can!
  14. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. In the next 13 months we must save at least 1 government job next year (mine), support at least 21 government jobs in the US Senate, and create at least 25 jobs in the US House of Representing
  15. Barack Obama
    My uh fellow Uhmericans, I uhm need some uh help finding a little lost, uhhhhm dog. He uhm goes by the name of TOTUS and loves lots of attention. Thank you, God uh bless you, and uhhh God Bless the Fiftyseven States of Uhmerica http://www.nbcwashington.com/video/#!/news/local/President-s-Seal--Podium-and-Equipment-Stolen/132036708
  16. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear Saving 2500 Jews from the Nazis is admirable. But I saved 7 Billion people from George W Bush
  17. Barack Obama
    Sorry for asking
  18. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear Klansmen, Neo-Nazis, and Teabaggers alike would never assassinate me with Joey next in line
  19. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear The media does not know it all. But they know more than you think you know. Therefore you should believe them when they tell you what to think.
  20. Barack Obama
    Yes We Can!
  21. Barack Obama
    Yes We Can!
  22. Barack Obama
    Get in the back seat
  23. Barack Obama
    Let me be clear. Your Carfax request will get as much response as a warranty claim on a 2008 Impala
  24. Barack Obama
    Am I invited?
  25. Barack Obama
    Yes she can!
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