LeviF

Don't worry Captain, I'm a perfect gentleman

I'm going. Don't need sleep anyway.

Have a good one, gents

Yep, between the belt, the airbags, and the car crushing perfectly (accordion-style), it was probably the best possible situation if I were to be hit like that. That cop I mentioned came to my house after I got out of the hospital to go over the crash with me. First thing he said when he walked through the door, "I can't believe you're sitting there talking to me right now." I just shrugged and popped a couple more hydros. My dad finally described what the car looked like after the accident, though, and I didn't really realize how lucky I was until then. My leg aches when the weather changes, but that's about it. I have a permanent titanium rod and 4 screws in my femur now. Won't be breaking that again. And I'll refrain from picking on your posts because it's not nice to pick on the slow kid I can't imagine actually being there. Watching it on TV was bad enough.

I was in a pretty bad car accident in May 2009. I was driving to work down a mountain road in my little Mazda 3 and some jackass in a Navigator comes around a bend, going far too fast. He skids over the median and hits me head-on. I was going ~60mph, the cop I talked to a few weeks later said the other guy was going 80+. Those of you that have had the misfortune of being on head-on collisions know that you get about a quarter-second to react before you get hit. For me, it was basically enough time to think, "Oh, !@#$" and for my legs to lock up. Anyway, he hits me and my car goes spinning off, eventually coming to rest in the middle of the road. My windows are all shattered, and I can't see through the windshield due to the spiderwebbing. My head is throbbing, and I can tell I'm bleeding from it. My arms have glass in them, and I can see in what's left of the rear-view mirror that I've bit almost completely through my bottom lip. The dash is about a foot closer than it had been a minute ago, and the airbags were deployed (airbag dust smells awful, just by the way). I move my right leg, and then try to move my left one, only to find that it's unresponsive. I look down and see the top half of my femur moving against my skin when I try to move my leg. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I'm in ridiculous pain. So I'm sitting there grinding my teeth to keep myself from screaming, and I think, "huh, isn't there a huge !@#$ing artery next to your femur?" Then I decide to notice that my leg is swelling up. Great. So I sat there for a minute thinking that I was going to die, before realizing that if I were to bleed to death I probably would have done it by then. But sitting there for a minute thinking I was going to die wasn't particularly fun.

Fair point

My dating strategy pretty much goes like this: 1. Talk to women. 2. Ask the ones that are decent looking (and aren't too vapid and/or stupid) to get coffee with me or some similar hip bull ****. 3. ???? 4. Profit! 5. Call the ones that provided an appropriate amount of profit to arrange another date. Bottom line: if you have to put in effort beyond one phone call to get another date, it's probably not worth it. Aside from water, kitty is the most common commodity on the planet. It literally flows in the streets. In fact, it might be more readily available: it's relatively safe to consume kitty you find in the gutter. There's always more of it. Don't stress if you spill some or forget where you put it.

Yeah, I found that slightly odd. Of course, then there's only a 10% separation between him and Romney on my results I'd really like to find out how the hell they do that.

No doctoring required, and I don't know exactly how their formula works.

This year's Libertarian Party candidate.

This, and a brand-new logo. I've never been a fan of the grumpy sperm cell or Patriot* Pat taking a dump.

To be fair, depending on what state he's in, it may not matter who he votes for/whether he throws his vote away. New York State has taught me everything I need to know about the electoral college.

Ray Lewis. Mostly because he can kill me from quite the distance away.

He plays for the Bills now. 100%

This is probably true. If I didn't, I'd make her so mad that she'd just have to hit me. But she'll never lose her temper like that again. She promises.

Probably

It's Dana... I posted without reading before; I now see LA has expressed similar, if not less wholesome, sentiments.

Found your problem.

My Christian ice queen is on "The Five"

Also... "We don't want our heads rolling down a fright of bears."

It rhymes with "misrael."

Just tell the doc if the percs don't work as well. It's always good for them to know.