LeviF

Gugny once shot me with a pellet gun because I called him creepy. Then he jumped out of my tree and plastered the side of my house with used tissues. And he hadn't blown his nose in them

All two digits of my IQ are very proud.

Nice try. I know it's just long for arrogant !@#$.

They also have our record last year at 10-6. You know, fwiw.

Mario Butler!

Great job reading.

Some say quit or I'll go blind but it's just a myth.

Watched ESB with some friends last night.

Just another in a list of guys who just don't get it.

Exactly, we have lots of experience in bein-, uh, helping disturbed people.

I mean, you're probably a pretty ok dude. But you are probably awkward and definitely not forward enough around cute girls. And you put ketchup on hot dogs.

I'm still in for two plus the TBDAHOT

I compared putting ketchup on a hot dog to high treason, not Jeffrey Dahmer.

That attitude is why you're still single.

Ah, well in that case I wish she couldn't flare her nostrils. She does it just to bother me.

It's not that she's bad with conversation topics or content, it's that she has this wonderful way of shoving her foot in her mouth without even realizing it. She basically called my mom old once and she was the only one who didn't realize it.

The girl I'm dating now could use some tact. Her meeting my parents was a blast.

Had to

Anyone who puts ketchup on a hot dog should be drawn and quartered. That is all.

Alright, I'll bite; what's wrong with her?

I heard Wal-Mart still employs the elderly as greeters. NG, you up for that rigorous task?

WDST is awesome. I tune in whenever I'm driving in the Hudson Valley.

Tended bar for about a month at this bistro around these parts in between jobs last year. The owner/executive chef was an absolute prick. This normally wouldn't bother me, since all chefs are pricks, but this guy took the cake. The guy once came out of the kitchen in the middle of dinner service to dress down a waitress for something that was actually his fault. He micromanaged the hell out of everything, but did a really awful job at it. He would advertise a certain special drink for dinner on some nights without even checking to see if we had the stuff for it, and then I'd show up for dinner service and have to explain to him that he needed to either change it or run to the store to get what we needed. Oh, and I usually didn't find out about these "special drinks" until I got there, even if I called and asked earlier. On top of that, he made me wear a bow tie to work. A !@#$ing bow tie. And it couldn't be any bow tie, oh no. It had to be the faded clip-on one that they provided. !@#$ing !@#$. Anyway, I was in for a lunch service one day and a waitress called out. No big deal, I can help the other waitress run food, since the bar isn't too busy during lunch anyway. But then the place fills up all of a sudden. And none of our other waitresses are answering the phone since we're looking for someone to come in really quick and cover. Ok, whatever, I'll be a waiter too, I'm just gonna be running around a lot. Then the waitress that's there starts feeling weird, runs out the back and pukes all over the dumpster. So now I'm the only person working besides the kitchen staff. After about a half hour of this, owner/chef finally blows up on me. And I start laughing at him. He goes, "Why the !@#$ are you laughing, you piece of ****?!" and I say, "You forgot that today's my last day, didn't you?" So I pulled off that ****ty bow tie, tossed it at him, and walked out the back door. Probably left about $300 in tips sitting at the tables in there but it was worth it to see his face as him and two kitchen guys are left with about 40 people out front with no waitstaff. Started my new job the next week.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2014-12-31

Why? Apparently anyone he is interested in is fair game.