LeviF

I mean that was one possibility. But there are so many others! - He was homeless! Jesus wandered around with no place to sleep at night. Surely he wasn't wealthy enough to pay for some behemoth's meal. - He was the best fisherman, like, ever! - He left Judas hanging, why not her? Ha, ha, ha! I'm just kidding all these jokes are terrible but Leviticus just wasn't the way to go, homeboy.

Even if you weren't, you had a better joke sitting right there! Right there! Work extra? Pfffft. I'm a public servant.

So what you're saying is you want some advice?

Damn it all.

I take a half hour instead of an hour so I can leave earlier. I recognize that part of this is my fault.

What about her?

I don't have "Vice President" underneath my name on my business card. Also the closest one to my office is 15 minutes away.

I'm an equal-opportunity offender.

The Indian places around here only do buffet during lunch on weekdays

That's all well and good (I happen to disagree, this place is hilarious), but tossing around "RACIST!!!11!one!" doesn't encourage serious debate either.

Your inability to recognize someone having fun with something when you see it is uncanny. This guy gets it.

This brings up another issue. At least she included you in the decision (I'm assuming you'd been together long enough to know you were the biological father). I know a couple of guys who were blindsided by a decision like that (one of them was married to the woman, for heaven's sake).

Nobody has been able to tell me why inequality and "white privilege" are bad things. Nobody. Do they exist? Certainly. Would I be a fool not to take advantage? Absolutely.

Second on Aaron Rodgers. And then it's my FF team.

****, my family settled in Salem in the 1600's (yeah, that Salem). We probably helped conquer the savages native to this now-great land. I love my family's history.

You're an idiot® Really? All the chinese buffets around here that I've been to have you pay after, because they charge separately for drinks.

I wish they had me on. "Really? My ancestors owned slaves? ... SWEET! I KNEW I WAS RICH!"

I don't see how he's on a high horse of some kind. If he believes that a fetus is human life and no less human life than, say, a 2-year old child, how is his calling abortion murder any different than him calling the killing of said 2-year old murder? To see them as morally equivalent is not unreasonable nor is it uncommon, and his stubbornness on the matter is a credit to him if he truly does see it that way.

Pretty sure he doesn't get laid regardless.

Hey, I like boobs as much as the next red-blooded male, but if I want to see them I'll go places other than espn.com and instagram.

The worst is the person adding the captions in that "write-up." Why are they so obsessed with nipples? The whole free the nipple thing is so !@#$ing stupid.

If everyone is guaranteed a human body, I think we'd see a lot more hedonism and, on the other end, more suicide.

Does anyone else just not give a damn? As long as he doesn't serve time I'd welcome him back, especially if he can coach our O-line into something that looks at least close to NFL-worthy.

You never know. I realize he'll be kicking but most programs are pretty big on their dry rules during the season. I have a few friends who played D1 football and told me that they didn't even want to party (read: drink) much during the offseason, since they were always busting their asses trying to put on more muscle. Of course, these guys were all linebackers and D-linemen so YMMV. Congrats, though!

Just take the batteries out. Who needs a smoke alarm anyway?