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SageAgainstTheMachine

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Everything posted by SageAgainstTheMachine

  1. I was at a Yankees game a couple of years ago. There was a girl (Maybe 14) with a Jason Varitek shirt on a couple of rows in front of me. There was a jerk 2 seats the left of us who called her a "Red Sox fan B word". During the next lull in the action, I calmly leaned over my seat and informed him, "Talking smack to that girl...if it happens again, I'll bite your nose off." Didn't hear another peep out of him the whole game. He thought I was insane.
  2. a) The Jets make a lot of QBs look bad. I'm not excusing Fitz' play on Sunday, but better quarterbacks have utterly failed against the defense over the last couple seasons. b) The whole "blueprint for success" concept that you're espousing here is nothing more than a platitude. If following the Jets gameplan was so easily done, everybody would do it. But the truth is that most teams don't have the quality CB play that the Jets do. When you can shut down a team's #1 and #2 wide receivers with just two defensive players, life is hard. Most teams can't do that.
  3. You're a quality poster and I respect your opinions. This passage, though, is where we fundamentally disagree. You're basically saying, for the losses, "They lost." For the wins, "They won but ________." Why hedge on the wins but not the losses? The losses concern me too, but I won't discredit the wins. I've always been of the mind that a win is a win and a loss is a loss. If there's a big-time mitigating factor, I'll take it into account. I don't think something nebulous like saying the Eagles hadn't found themselves yet represents a significant mitigating factor. I don't think it's fair to assume that the Eagles would handle us today, as it seems you're implying. Just my opinion.
  4. Remember, either the Jets or Patriots will be 5-4 next week with a 2-2 divisional record. Everybody seems rather certain those two teams will make the playoffs, but one will be in risky territory after Sunday. Hopefully the Bills aren't there with them.
  5. Isn't it funny how the waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop pessimists only think that losses "expose a team for what they are"? Yes, winning big upsets against the Patriots and Eagles is just something that randomly occurred, but one bad loss against the Jets unearths some latent suckitude Oh, but I forgot. The Jets game happened most recently, so it's the only thing that counts. Trust me, I suffer no delusions about how bad yesterday sucked. But it was one game, and it certainly doesn't negate all the positive things that have happened this year.
  6. Yep. Bad things happen when people behave idiotically, whether those things are intentional or not. Still, titling this post "OWS throws Grandma down the steps" is just dumb.
  7. This is true, but in 4 out of 8 games (Chiefs, Bengals, Eagles, Redskins) the Bills' opponent was playing some pretty serious catch-up and primarily passing.
  8. My grandpa says I get my Man Card when my other testicle drops!
  9. Yes, my guess is that Kyle is kaput until 2012.
  10. Here's what I do... After every loss I head out to my garage, where I have a feral pig (Victor) tied up in chains. The chains might seem cruel, but they're really only a cautionary measure as all four of Victor's legs are broken anyway, and he's blind. I look Victor directly in the face and say "THESE ARE THE MEN THIS WEEK" and I recite the 53 names on the opposing team's active roster in reverse alphabetical order. When I get to the members of the opponent who scored touchdowns against the Bills, I bite my tongue until it bleeds and then I spit the blood into the pig's face. At this point, he starts squealing (wouldn't you?). I sing him a song to calm him. Usually it's 'We Built This City on Rock and Roll'. Once I had to sing 'Walk Like an Egyptian' because Victor just wouldn't stop squealing! When all the blood-spitting has finished, there is a really intense period of silence. This lasts...I don't know. 5 minutes? An hour? Whatever feels appropriate. I then strip completely naked except for a sock on my (obviously erect) penis. I blindfold myself and start to dance the tango with an invisible partner named Krystal. She asks me to make love, but there's no time. This is serious business. After the tango ends, I recite the pledge of allegiance one time for each point that the Bills scored, and then I poke Victor in the eye with a AAA battery for each point the opponent scored. I then fall to my knees and scream profanties toward the heavens until my voice becomes hoarse. When I'm hoarse, the last step commences. I use an x-acto knife to deftly carve a small (3 square inches or less) piece of flesh from my left buttock, and then I consume the flesh with a small dash of garlic powder. If I regurgitate, whatever comes back up is fed to Victor. He hates this part! But I make sure to give him a big sloppy kiss right on the mouth if it happens. Victor loves to use tongue, but I've been known to slap him. I'm not some whore, after all! This usually calms me down.
  11. It's puzzling to me why ANYONE would want a 2nd term. Every President seems to age about 20 years during his 1st term. You'd think they'd all be tap dancing out of office after 4 years.
  12. You have to credit the Pittsburgh D for their incredible discipline. Not one DB has submitted to the urge to double team Evans in the Baltimore trainer's room.
  13. Whether or not he was actually miserable, there's value in being the mouthpiece for our collective frustrations and annoyances. People wouldn't have watched if they didn't agree for the most part.
  14. Agreed. I still think a legitimate edge rusher is the #1 missing piece.
  15. I thought I was being optimistic in my 7-9 prediction. Right now, I think 10-6 is very realistic given the competition.
  16. Well said. Are the players crying in their beer and saying "Maybe next year"? Of course not. So why should we? We're on pace for 10-6 with a win in our pocket against the Big Bad Wolf of the AFC East and 4 more division games left to prove our worth. Plenty of football left to be played. So let's get to it.
  17. "This thing we call 'Failure' is not the falling down. It is the staying down." I've seen the 2011 Bills come back from 18 points against the Raiders. The very next week, I saw them come back from 21 points against the Patriots. Don't try to tell me that one bad effort at an inopportune time makes this team a bunch of losers. Nobody ever said the road to the playoffs would be easy. Maybe they don't make it when the dust settles. But I sure as hell know that they have the intestinal fortitude for it.
  18. You're right. Maybe I'm a bigger fan of offense after all. I will say that yesterday's game had elements of offensive ineptitude as well as defensive dominance.
  19. Always liked Jane Leeves on Frasier. I don't watch this show, though. When I want to masturbate to images of Betty White I just use google. I mean...ummmmmm
  20. I think that John Adams raises a good point actually. Your avatar is an eyesore and frankly ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD
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