SageAgainstTheMachine

Mostly just a testament to Major League Baseball being around for a loooong freaking time. It's a rarer feat than a perfect game.

Hiding in Honduras, I'm a desperate man.

This one pisses people off... Knock Knock Who's there? To To who? To whom! Say what you want about pedophiles. They drive past schools and parks slowly.

Also... Q: What's the worst part about kids' birthday parties? A: Cleaning the blood off your clown costume afterward.

At parties and such. Mine is... A man is at a doctor's appointment. The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to stop masturbating." The man says, "Why?" Doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

To be fair, in terms of pre-season predictions Bleacher Report knows about as much as any "legit" source...aka nothing. I'll wait to see how the first several weeks play out before prognosticating.

"Tom Brady and Wes Welker at the Kentucky Derby." Did I win?

Both Nolan's Batman series and Breaking Bad are ending this year. I don't know if I can handle it

Oh, that was a typo. I meant "off" the field.

Say what you want about Coldplay (and I always do) but that is one evocative melody.

Completely unfair characterization of Marshawn. He did his share of foolish things on the field, but to suggest that he wasn't a team player is off base.

No problem, it really spoke to me - "whatever your excuse is, stop believing it"

Maybe THIS TIME he'll be wise enough to reveal his sources to anonymous Bills fans.

There was a great stand-up bit (I forget by whom) where he claims he can judge the intelligence of the US each year by how many people are killed by trains. "It's not like they can come and get ya!"

Great motivational video. I lost it at 3:52.

I'm trying to tell myself that. At the same time, some 22 year olds have difficulty coming back from ACL/Meniscus tears. Mo is 42.

Most dominant player (in terms of what the position demands) in baseball history? For all the Ruths and Mays and Ryans, the case could be made that nothing was ever as sure of a thing as Rivera entering a tight game. The few blown saves were always frankly shocking.

It's a silly thing, but I'm fighting back tears right now. If Mo is done, I can't imagine a more unceremonious exit...shagging fly balls at goddamn Kaufman Park? You gotta be kidding me.

Impressive. But when it comes to baseball I always say 'wait til the first big slump'.

Without double checking, I count 18 sets. And the box just to the left of dead-center is the one to alter?

Tight End. Chandler was a breath of fresh air, but we're still missing a guy who can line up in the seam and stretch the field between the 20s.

"Tears Achilles" is one of those phrases that just gives me the willies. I can't even imagine.

I wonder about this too. Especially following a long career, suddenly becoming "yesterday's news" after all the hard work must be a difficult sensation. People remember your name, but they're ultimately interested in the guys still on the field. If you don't have enough other interests to keep you busy, I have no doubt this could be the source of depression. Thanks, Pooj. And don't worry about the Captain. He'll always be Hamdan's Revenge to us, anyway.

I guess the semantics of "selfish" need to be fleshed out for the sake of the discussion. I suspect that most people mean it to connote a certain conscious moral wrongness. That's a rather good description of depression though. This is a pretty dark tidbit, but it's relevant. During the worst of it, I lived in a studio apartment by myself. There was an infestation of gnats (or some kind of small fly, I'm not entomologist) and for about a week I just laid in bed and let the bugs crawl all over everything, including my body. Again, in retrospect it's so absurd...but back then I REALLY thought I just wasn't worth the effort of cleaning the place.

He looks pretty much the same to me.