Now lets see..I am reading from the police report.
The Wagon got a late start waiting for Jason Peters to arrive in Buffalo. His team mates made several calls with no answer.
He eventually showed up in an angry mood and a few nameless players called him a big baby!
The Buffalo Bills Medical staff at Orchard Park High School cleared both Angelo Crowell and John McCargo for the road trip, declaring both players passed their physicals
They finally got started, but the players were extremely nervous as the wagon weaved from lane to lane while the driver attempted to steer clear of incoming traffic and large trees. The players were praying for a miracle.
The Truck pulling the wagon hit a pot hole, ejecting Trent Edwards, Aaron Schobel and Justin Youtody from the passenger side, then crashed into a large barn in Elma.
Dick Jauron was driving the truck, but he forgot the map and got lost. He then panicked as the truck slid sideways off the road.
The trip only takes a few minutes, but the Bills missed a few turns in the road......crashed and burned and the players became angry with the driver.
Most of the passengers blame each other for not paying closer attention to the driver. " Why did you guys let that idiot drive anyway," said Marshawn Lynch while smiling broadly with those gold teeth.
J.P. Losman said he can fix the wreck, but he has no tools and really doesn't care anyway.
40 minutes later Ralph Wilson arrived at the scene in his helicopter.
Ralph Wilson denies responsibility, and will fire and sue Dick Jauron and hire another fine young assistant to replace him.
Ralph just stood on the side of the Road yelling "Who do you think will pay for this twisted WRECK....not me" he said
Dick Jauron's new contract extension was in the glove box, and nobody can find the freakin thing.
Ralph just laughed, and flew away in his private helicopter as Jason Peters screamed "SHOW ME THE MONNNNEEEYYY"
Ralph flipped him the bird as the copter flew out of site
A huge crowd of reporters arrived at the scene to question Dick Jauron but he refused to comment.
His only reply was " I have no idea what happened, it must have been slippage,er something"
END OF REPORT
-DIE HARD 1967