Well, after thinking it over - I took Pete's advice and picked out a real screamer.
I got the Manhattan Projectile...
It is a titanium based, quadruple walled alloy with a uranium core. Generate the slightest amount of bat speed and the accelerometer will trigger a small nuclear reaction and that imparts 150,000 Newtons to that poor softball. Some softballs have been known to vaporize on contact.
I can only IMAGINE the tail I'm going to get when those diamond rats see me jacking those balls out swinging left handed (I'm a righty).
BOO-YA!!!!
(In all seriousness, I got the DeMarini Rayzor double-walled for $99.99 at Dicks. The single wall was available for $10 less, but apparently you have to be related to Ozzy Osbourne to buy that bat considering the Goth lettering on it.)